How the Lord's Prayer Helps with Anger

I never thought the Lord’s Prayer would relate to anger.

That’s probably because we usually associate the prayer with that flowery, feel-good moment in a service when we all pray the words together (though we’re never real sure whether to say “debts” or “trespasses”).

But the prayer relates to anger?

vivozoom 85825478 w How the Lords Prayer Helps with Anger

(Photo by via Andy Dean Photography, via Vivozoom)

It relates especially when we find ourselves asking, Why am I angry all the time? Especially in my relationships?

It’s tough to see the Lord’s prayer helping much with anger. But it does.

Here’s how.

Your Rights, Responsibilities, and Relationships

Anger is the emotion of self-preservation. —Dr. Les Carter

If that’s true, we can begin to see our vulnerability to anger when someone violates our personal worth, needs, or beliefs.

In those moments, we need to remember that God’s Word always speaks in terms of our responsibilities—never in terms of our rights.

That’s why the Lord’s Prayer has the words, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” You have the responsibility to forgive others, not the right to be forgiven by them. Notice also the verb tenses.

You forgive others before you ask God to forgive you.
In fact, the verses that follow explain that you remain out of fellowship with God until you have forgiven others (Matthew 6:14-15).

The principle of responsibility extends to all relationships.

A husband has the responsibility to love his wife sacrificially, but she does not have the right to be loved by him.
You have the responsibility to consider others better than yourself, but you don’t have the right to have others do the same.

God’s commands aren’t our entitlements in disguise. They’re responsibilities, not rights. (Tweet that.)

Obviously, there is nothing wrong with a desire for love from others. Just consider why you want it. Is the motive selfish?

You’ll know it’s selfish when you get angry when you don’t get love when you want it.

A Better Alternative

But there’s a better motive:

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. (Matthew 6:13)

The word “For” reveals the purpose for which you have prayed: the glory of God. (Not God’s glory and . . .)

Instead of approaching each day with the goal of getting your “needs” met, try asking the Lord: “How can I glorify you today?” The first perspective draws you toward frustration, the second, toward God.

Ask yourself, How can I glorify God today?

as you get dressed each morning
as you drive to work or to the store
as you clean the kitchen
as you head to a social event
as you answer a rude person
as you live with chronic pain

For as Paul reminds us, “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

If our lives orbit around our fulfillment, ironically, we will never be fulfilled. (Tweet that.)

The Lord’s Prayer helps us understand that we have responsibilities in relationships, not rights. And our goal is God’s glory, not self-fulfillment. (Mark 8:35)

When we center our lives on glorifying God, we will discover the joy of living for something much bigger than ourselves.

Question: What helps you when you get angry? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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Joel Scott

Your third and fourth bullet points made me think of one more:

A wife has a responsibility to respect her husband, but he doesn’t have the right to be respected by her.

Remembering that might help some of us husbands get angry less often!
- Dubonnet
  
  hello,
  
  and yet Paul wrote to the Ephesians: “o husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also [does] the church, (Ephesians 5:28-29 NASB)
  
  a subject of meditation for angry husbands!
- http://www.waynestiles.com/ Wayne Stiles
  
  Joel, you’re exactly right! I also think of the “serve one another” commands that don’t give me the right to be served. Thanks for your comment. Great addition.
Dubonnet

hello dear Wayne,

your article gave me in mind these two proverbs of Solomon: “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14:29 NASB) and “Do not associate with a man [given] to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.” (Proverbs 22:24-25 NASB)

The apostle Paul tells us “BE ANGRY, AND [yet] DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” (Ephesians 4:26 NASB), but also to exercise self-control, and also tells us that: “gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:23 NASB)

then, yes, we must do our utmost not to hurt others, grieve God and give us a bad image.

the disciple Jacques will say he not: “So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and [yet] it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! [...] With it we bless [our] Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come [both] blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. (James 3:5-10)

a great challenge.

Friendly.
- http://www.waynestiles.com/ Wayne Stiles
  
  All excellent reminders. Thank you. It’s amazing how often the Scriptures address this issue! Thanks.
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