When God Takes Something Away from You

It’s always great when God replaces something painful with something wonderful. Or when He provides for a need in a context of desperation.

But what about when God takes away something we enjoy—or even something we need? Or when He allows something bad to invade something good?

When God Takes Something Away from You

(Photo: by Hariadhi. Own work, GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 via Wikimedia Commons)

Can we then say what Job said?

Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. —Job 1:21

During the times when God takes something away from you, it’s easy to feel duped, as if God was some kind of pusher, giving free samples and then removing them after the cravings have their hooks in your heart.

The Lord’s generosity can be misunderstood as cruelty.

Rather than praise God for the time we enjoyed His blessings—we tend to resent His sovereign prerogative to confiscate them.

Here’s some perspective that can help when God takes something away from you that was a blessing.

Times of Removal

During the times of removal we discover, sadly, that Satan’s accusation is often right on the money: “Does Job fear God for nothing?” (Job 1:9).

Put your name in Job’s place and see how accurate the statement becomes: “Does Wayne fear God for nothing?”

Honestly, I’d really hate to find out.

Times of removal

(Photo by Prosavage2600, CC-BY-SA-3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

What do our raw emotions reveal about our hearts when God takes away something wonderful?

  • When the Lord gives and then takes away it can betray an inordinate affection for the gift rather than for the Giver.
  • The reaction after the removal could reveal that we view God as One who merely dispenses blessings rather than One who has as His primary concern our holiness.

A Helpful Perspective When God Takes Something Away from You

If we find ourselves constantly waiting on God to bring us into a season of blessing again (heaven notwithstanding), it may be that the initial blessing only came to reveal how addicted to blessings we have become.

There is a huge difference between waiting on God’s blessings and waiting on God.

We may feel it’s the same, but it isn’t.

Question: What did you (or do you) learn when God takes something away from you? To leave a comment, just click here.

Waiting on GodLike This Post? Get the Whole Book!

This post is adapted from Wayne’s book, Waiting on God: What to Do When God Does Nothing.

• What do you do when the life God has promised you looks nothing like the life he has given you?

If you find yourself waiting on God—or if you don’t know what God wants you to do next—this book offers a wise and practical guide to finding hope and peace in life’s difficult pauses.

You will discover what to do when it seems God does nothing.


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  • Arthur

    Strangely I felt closer to God and closer to acknowledging His awesome authority. I like your comments, finding you put it better than I do. Keep going, mate. Arthur

    • Thank you, Arthur. I like your perspective. “Strangely” is a perfect description of it, isn’t it? It’s odd how God taking something away draws us closer to Him.

  • Nevine Louis Wissa

    When God takes away something “good” from me, I know it in my heart, that He wants to fill the empty space (resentment & bewilderment) with Himself. it’s painful, but I think is the route to & only proof of progressive holiness.

    • That’s such a good and healthy (and right) perspective, Nevine. Thanks for sharing it.

  • susan petersen

    God has his reasons’s for what he had done. i know. I think that he wanted me to depend on him more. I do praise him for this illness, I praise him for sparing me to and for helping me to get through this. I know that he wants me to trust him in all things. The lord is my shepard, I shall not want.He has comforted me and made me stronger. I trust the Lord with all my heart. He would not take something away with out being there for me to hold on to him and be comforted by him. 

    • You make a good point, Susan. When God removes something, He also replaces it with His comfort. Super perspective. Thanks.

      • Dominic


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  • Dubonnet

    subject: “Grow Strong: 30 Devotions to Deepen Your Christian Life” (.pdf)

    Dear Wayne,I think this topic is more appropriate to thank you for the book: “Grow Strong: 30 Devotions to Deepen Your Christian Life”I say not that you replace what God would have me take, no, is more a pleasure to see people like you work in the knowledge of the Bible and the historic lands discovery that hosted the ‘Son of God’ when he came to earth.thank you for your work.best regards.

    • You are very welcome. It’s a privilege to minister through this blog, especially when readers like you take the time to write with thanks. I hope you enjoy the book– and get the Kindle and audiobook too. Thanks for writing me.

  • Pingback: Learning to Trust God in a New Way | Wayne Stiles()

  • Saddened but Trusting.

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1 year and almost 4 months now. We had discussed marriage quite seriously and had even started making plans, but recently he told me he’s not sure what God wants with his life. He’s not sure if he’s called to missions, and if so, him and I aren’t good for each other because I do not feel called to missions and that would only cause a lifetime of resentment for both of us. So, we broke up and he said he’s waiting to find out what God wants to do with his life. I’m struggling emotionally and I’m incredibly upset. But I’m trying to tell myself that God has a plan.

    • It’s been many years since I’ve felt the sting that your heart is feeling now, but I remember well the pain and it’s a really, really tough place to be. Sometimes God leads us unwanted places to give us what we could never get otherwise. The reality is that God’s call to missions or any other place is just the first step in His lifelong guidance that will turn many directions. I believe that the lonely times have a purpose.

      You are very wise to believe that God has a plan. I’m confident that He is guiding your life and that you’ll look back on this season with gratitude. Just cling to Him right now without trying to understand it all.

    • Growing Stronger

      I’m experiencing the same thing, Trusting. My girlfriend and I recently broke up, over a similar type of situation. We had already talked about marriage and I was quite sure she was “the one”. When I first met her, I was sure God brought her to me. We were both on similar paths, and she started to take a detour, which lead to a discussion, and eventual break-up. This is actually the second time we’ve broken up. I know reading this, you’re probably “Well DUH!”. The first time we ended things was about a month after we started up, my reaction to a misunderstanding. After about 4-5 months, our hearts found each other and we decided to give it another try. We were together for almost a year before she started to deviate from the path we were both on. We talked about engagement and eventually marriage. Then all of a sudden we weren’t moving in the same direction. This has lead me to alot of self-evaluation, answer seeking, and growing with the Lord and trying to hear His voice It’s been almost a month since we broke up and my heart still aches for her everyday, and I don’t understand it. If she wasn’t for me, why does my heart ache this strongly? It was the same thing the first time we broke up, and that’s what i believe lead us back together. I couldn’t stop thinking of her and my heart would not let go. Did God put my desire for her on my heart? If so, did He take her away? Assuming He did put the desire for her on my heart, and brought her to me, and did take her away…why would He do that and then take her away? Is it better to assume that He didn’t bring her to me in the first place?

      • “Why” questions are always tough to answer because we can’t fathom the mind of God. But we do see in Scripture that God may give us something and then ask us for it. I urge you to read this post again, and as you do consider the joy you would have if you surrendered the life you want and instead embraced the life God is waiting to give you. It’s a challenge I face as well. Thanks.

      • amy

        Hi.dont focus.what you lost.focus god first.god wants you to worship.him god first.god love you so much.because he wants you to love god sacrificefirst before your girl friend .love god first before your human love.

  • Joe

    I put my faith in God, and here I sit alone in a motel, I’ve lost my family due to divorce, all my money, and to top it off I had polio when I was a young child. Wow, thank you God for being so kind and loving, I must have really pissed you off! But, I better believe and be good, before he takes what ever else and he sends me to some kind of hell. Yes, I trusted and put all I had into a marriage to find out my sweet little Christian wife wanted a divorce and couldn’t wait to screw another man. Thank you God!!! Thanks for watching over me, as I see people sleeping on the streets and I’ll probably be there soon, wow, such love and kindness for all. What a great lesson!

    • If all that happened to me, Joe, especially if I had completely trusted in God as you have, I’d probably be just as angry. At some point, when you’ve exhausted all your other options, I urge you to consider that God’s plan may be larger than what you expected of Him. I know, I know . . . that’s baloney now. But one day, when you can, consider it.

      • broken

        Nope, don’t believe in Christianity.
        God took everything away when it’s was the most beautiful moment in my life. As if my life has been less difficult, he did not even spare me a moment when things have been extremely tough. It has been 15 years now and I do not see how the experience and consequences I have to deal with till today and eternally is any good or comfort God has planned for me. 15 years is way too long to even realize God’s plan. I have never had any peace of mind or comfort nor am I happy since that horrible life changing experience.

    • Tabaly Gonzalez

      I hope your OK Joe…Its been a year …I know.. I’ve been going through the same thing, and I still don’t lose faith..

      • How kind of you, Tabaly, to drop in this note. It’s never easy when God takes something from us. Sometimes only hindsight gives us the understanding of God’s purposes that we take now on faith. Thanks for your comments.

        • Tabaly Gonzalez

          I hope he’s OK…Sometimes we focus on what we lost instead of reaching out to greater detail… Job 1 King James Version (KJV)

          1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.

          2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.

          3 His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east.

          4 And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.

          5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.

          6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them.

          7 And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.

          8 And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?

          9 Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought?

          10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.

          11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.

          12 And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.

          13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house:

          14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:

          15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

          16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

          17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

          18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house:

          19 And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

          20 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,

          21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

          22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.

          • Tabaly Gonzalez

            29Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

    • sinner saved by grace

      hi joe. i’m not sure if you will feel better but i hope this could eventually help somehow. i remember what a pastor shared. a true story. a woman was about to get married. but i think a day before the wedding, the man got into a car accident and died. the woman was so devastated of course, and she had understandably bitterness in her heart, not only about the incident, but moreso about God, Who we all know is in control. it’s very hard many times to reconcile the truth that God is in control, so how come He does not use His power and sovereignty to stop all the traumatic events that come our way. going on with the story, the woman couldn’t sleep. she did not have peace. and she came to see a pastor. i forgot the name of the pastor. but she told the pastor what she went through and that she couldn’t sleep. the pastor asked her, “have you yet thanked God for what happened?”. and upon hearing that, the woman fumed and became all the more furious! she said “what???!!! you want me to thank God that my husband-to-be died???”. the pastor calmly and lovingly said, “yes”. the woman walked away. but that night, although she does not agree with the pastor, she gave it a try. she tried, as hard as can be, to utter a prayer of thanks to the Lord. and she was able to sleep well already that night. no need for sleeping pills or to talk to any psychologist. she was able to sleep well and feel peace. when i heard that story, it marked in my heart. i try applying it whenever i’m so down and feel like i’m on the edge co’z attacks from everywhere come at once. i think at one point it’s about gratitude but even more, it’s about acknowledging who the Lord is – who He is regardless of what blessings He can give or what pains He can take away. and to my surprise, that simple act of acknowledging the Lord unblinds my eyes more of His amazing beauty that is independent of His blessings. and though life remains really tough and most people really unfair and i had deep bitterness unto the Lord for many years in the past (even during years that i already responded to His gift of forgiveness and eternal life) because of this, i can’t say i’m consistently able to focus on God’s beauty now instead of the ugliness that sin caused this world we live in, but now i can honestly share, God is indeed beautiful. His beauty indescribably exceeds whatever beauty His blessings bring.

    • sinner saved by grace

      “But, I better believe and be good, before he takes what ever else and he sends me to some kind of hell.”

      i also hope to share to you that being in the Lord through Christ Jesus our Savior is kind of like our love relationship with people. you will be very drained if you do something for someone just because you have to or out of fear that your loved one will leave you or despise you or punish you if you don’t do this and that. it will be very hard to enjoy a love relationship and genuinely grow in it if it’s like that. you don’t have security, and it puts unnecessary burden in everything you do within that love relationship. you feel like you always have to earn credits in that someone’s love for you or else. i think many of us struggle with that thought pattern because of the loved ones who did not know how to love us in a godly way, and our not so nice experiences with them kind of built a habit in our perspective that subtly moves us to live in fear of losing love for us or trying to perform nicely so as to earn love and make it stay with us and so on. our experiences with ungodly love bestowed upon us by people maybe sort of shadowed the love that God has been actively pouring unto each of us. please know that you are not alone in that struggle of thought patterns. and please also know that Jesus who did not have to suffer because He is without sin, left His convenience and gave Himself to horribly suffer and die, to take our place and give us eternal security, because He knows that our strength and will are contaminated by sin that made us helpless to be eternally saved based on performance. once we received His gift of complete forgiveness and eternal life, we become free to be in a love relationship with Him, where we become free to give and receive not in the basis of performance, but based on pure love. i hope this helps you too.

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  • MerlinMTroyer

    John 10:10 Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly
    Satan came the Seek, Kill and destroy , Be careful what you blame on God

    • That verse is certainly true. We have other passages that offer the other side of the coin. For example, Isaiah 53:10: “But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief.” Isaiah clearly says that it was God’s will to put Jesus to death. Obviously for a great good. But that good required bad. Easy answers? No. But the tension is unavoidable. The Bible has parts that require some serious thought. One verse doesn’t cancel out another.

      • MerlinMTroyer

        Jerimiah 29 :11

  • CW

    I too am going through heartbreak. I’m 31 and I’d been praying for God to send a boyfriend since I was 18. Finally, met a guy last year. Prayed to God everyday during our relationship. I was blindsided when he ended our relationship after 9 months. It’s only been a month since the relationship ended. Can’t help but think, “God, why did you make me wait, send him, and then snatch him away from me?”

    • That’s hard and very challenging . . . to have waited so long only to keep waiting longer. While there are many things that remain unclear about your circumstances, there are also truths you can know. God is guiding your life, in spite of the fact that He often does it in a way that makes little sense to us. The Lord often takes us the long way, and only in hindsight do we understand the why of why He did so. Until then, we cling to His promises and refuse to listen to the lies that say “if God loved me, He would . . .” I have found it true that the lonely times are the times God is calling us to draw close to Him. Hang in there. The Lord is not done with you nor with answering your prayers.

  • WPM

    When the storm is raging it is difficult to reconcile all of the factors. in my situation, I am just waiting for the conclusion of the soul healing to come…and it will. Claim the promise in Ps 23, “He restoreth my soul” He has a reason and a plan, trust Him, He is worthy! He tells us in Mal 3 to: “prove me NOW” He has done it for others…it will pass.

    • You’re right, WPM. It often is just a matter of God’s grace filling in the cracks of our hearts over time. Waiting is tough. Sounds like your focus is in the right place. God bless.

  • Neal Snow

    All he wants to do is hurt me. He wants to get my hopes up beyond the skies and then crush them slowly and painfully as he possibly can. He’s just messing with me because he finds it amusing to see me fall. Why does God think that when someone hurts you that you should trust them? What if I don’t like God’s plan for me? I want to be happy and that isn’t in his plan. Joy is totally different so don’t try to mention anything about how we don’t need to be happy we have joy because its not the same.

    • I admit it isn’t easy, Neal, to keep having faith when it seems to have proven worthless. But God is only halfway done with your story; you’re not reading the end of it yet. I hope at some point you’ll open yourself up again to the Lord and ask Him for help‹and then also have the courage to wait for it.

      I’m convinced that in most cases God delays because he wants to give us more than we’re asking for. He loves us enough to wait to give us His best rather than to satisfy our impatience with a quick, cheap substitute.

  • cat

    When God removed my source of income and people, I became aware of what being poor was like. I am more compassionate for the poor than I have ever been in my life. I have to rely on him more than I ever did. This is the most painful place I have ever been in, but it also is my learning place. So I thank him in this painful place because it has revealed so much about me. Things I would never have learned about myself, that I would have not known if I would have been in the world.

    • Thanks, cat. Sometimes the pain we experience —be it pain the body, in our relationships, or in the spiritual life—is just part of living in a fallen world. But very often, pain also serves as a warning that something in our lives needs to change . You have some great insights here. Thanks.

  • alice P

    God has “taken away” things and people that at the time I thought was really painful and now looking back I realize it was His protection, perfect will, and that He loves me so much. He took away a man at the time I wanted to marry and now years after I realize “what was i thinking?”. God is a jealous God. He took away my dad with cancer: i didn’t understand at the time but my dad got saved then my mom after my dad died so it took cancer for both my parents to finally surrender to Christ. Plans of having a child was very difficult cannot have and is difficult when a man approaches me wanting to marry for example saying he would like to get married and have two girls that look like me, etc. But I trust God, He is my Husband, my all. I wouldn’t trade Him for anything. Those times and seasons when our health fails and we question why did that happen now just have to say Thank you Lord for giving me another day of life! Jesus is coming soon, look up, share Christ, time is short, get closer to Him. He is God so He can do whatever He wants, we don’t deserve a thing. What we have is a gift, blessings. That’s how I see life now. It has taken me years now to(maturity in Christ) understand Him a bit more. Why He takes “boyfriends’ away? Is either a yes, no or wait answer. May not be the right timing, He may decide to bring you someone else, but one thing is certain He won’t ever lie, won’t ever disappoint, won’t stop loving you, won’t give you something to hurt you purposefully. Trust Him, He knows best…the end from the beginning. What if that person would lead you astray in the future? I have seen “christians” who have fallen away over the years then I think “Thank God i never got involved with that person”. I have learned to not be angry at Him(who am I? Moses got angry and didn’t enter the promised land), and not to be stubborn. Stubborness is as the sin of witchcraft, won’t lead to anywhere good. God knows best. Stay close to Jesus always.

    • I like your perspective, Alice. When we pray for God to bring relief, or change, or a certain result from a challenging situation, we have to remember that what we’re asking God to do—even though it may be completely within the bounds of Scripture—comes from a limited perspective. We look at the situation and evaluate it in such a way as to think: Lord, bring about this result in my character. Help me be more loving, patient, self-controlled, etc. Obviously, God wants us to be these things, but he may have another result in mind altogether.
      As you’ve seen, sometimes God’s greatest acts of love come in saying no to our requests because he wants to give us much, much more than answers to third grade questions. He wants to grow us up to be like his Son—and the Father will never stop this relentless pursuit in our lives (Rom. 8:29; Phil. 1:6). Thanks.

  • grace

    Abba Father Daddy God always has our best interest in His heart!
    Daddy God wants to build our character and conform His Precious Beloved children to the image of His Beloved Son Jesus Christ!
    That’s the Ultimate perspective we must have and give thanks with a grateful heart to Him <3

    Physical blessings are temporal
    Spiritual blessings are Eternal!
    Praise be to Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior 🙂

  • LKO

    After my husband of 27 years left me, I have learned to trust God more deeply than I ever had to previously. While I cannot negate the pain of this experience – pain that continues to linger – likewise I recognize the work that God has done in me, drawing me into a profoundly deeper walk with Him. In a thirst induced only by the deepest and darkest pain, loneliness, and depression, I have dug into his Word and sought to press into Him, and He has comforted me.

    While I would by no means say that I’m “over” it, any healing that has taken place thus far can only be attributed to God and the healing power of His Word. Some of my go-to verses over the past 3 years:

    John 5:17 – “Jesus said to them, ‘My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I, too, am working.'” Even when I can’t see it.
    Hebrews 13:5b – “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.'” Such comfort!!
    Psalms (truly too many of these to record here – but here are a few):
    9:10 – “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Never forsaken – balm for broken hearts.
    34:18 – “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
    57:2 – ” I cry out to God, who fulfills His purpose for me.” He has a purpose for my life, and will redeem me to accomplish His plan.
    Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteousness right hand.” So much comfort and encouragement in one verse!

    These are truths that I cling to. On days like today, they flow out of my heart easily, freely, and with gratitude. On other, harder and more painful days, I have to preach to myself that they are still true even if nothing in or around me feels like it. It’s not easy coming home to an empty house, and crawling into an empty bed at night. I am still reminded of and feel the loss every day, some more so than others. But God has been my Healer, the balm of Gilead, and will continue to be my Comfort as I trust Him, press into Him, and seek to bring Him glory even through this.

    • Your story is a tough one to hear, LKO. I’m sorry. But your strategy for gleaning comfort from God is the best one possible. There are many, many women who need the wisdom of your experience, your words, and the comfort you have found in the Lord. Thanks.

  • Sharon Knowles

    It’s like deep cleaning your house u got to get rid of the old stuff so u can make room for the new stuff

    • disqus_znTohz52QD

      “cleaning your house” ?


      • Esther

        This house is not a physical house but the house of your heart.

  • Sharon Knowles

    I feel like thing was taking away like my car being a single mom financial problems but I’m learning to trust God cuz this is the testing of my faith

    • It’s never easy, Sharon, to fully understand the Lord’s reasons for taking away—or for giving to us initially. You’re right; it’s a testing of our faith either way. Just take it a day at a time and remain close to Him. He will never fail you—in spite of the disappointments He allows. God bless.

  • Meghan

    My sister and her boyfriend were together for over 7 years, high school sweethearts. They had their entire future planned out but this past weekend he was taken from us in a sudden and very tragic accident. We are all devastated, this wasn’t supposed to happen. We cannot make sense of any of this. Why him? Why now? Why let them be together for so long just to take him away from her? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

    • Oh wow, Meghan . . . I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to understand the blur of pain your family is feeling right now. There are no easy answers. I do know that any attempt to explain the “why” will likely feel insufficient. That’s why knowing why something happened seldom helps. We need to know who more than why. Sovereignty sees every event through the lens of God’s purpose, although his purpose may remain hidden from us. Our response to those events all boils down to faith. Do we trust God or not? Is he in control or isn’t he? In these painful seasons, the Lord comforts us more by his presence than by his explanations. Reason alone never seems to satisfy—or to justify—our pain. We need God himself. Our greatest difficulties give us our greatest opportunities to demonstrate our faith in a sovereign God (cf. Acts 2:23; 4:28; 13:27; Phil. 1:12). Although the Lord causes all things to work together for good in the lives of believers, we seldom, if ever, will understand how his good comes from the great pain we experience.

      In spite of all we cannot know about why your sister’s boyfriend was taken, we can know that God promises to walk with you—and weep with you—during this season of pain. He presence and sovereignty offer a peace far more comforting than reasons why.

  • Patricia Handa

    I have heard this “excruciating pain is really good for us and makes us like Jesus” theory before, so I have two questions. One- if someone suffers so much that they commit suicide, how is that helpful to anyone? Happens all the time, more and more, in fact. Are we saying that driving someone to kill themselves is somehow good? Two- if suffering is so wonderful for saving souls, why does Jesus tell us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned, et al.? Wouldn’t it be better for their salvation to let them suffer? Yet charity is a fundamental tenet of all major faiths, not just Christianity. Could it be that suffering is of Satan and defies God’s will, but can be born patiently with God’s help and turned to good if we so choose? I prefer this theory- after all, why would we have to pray “thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven” if everything that happened here was already God’s will?

    • It’s hard to tell, Patricia, if you’re saying my post seems to support the “excruciating pain is really good for us and makes us like Jesus” theory you mention. I’m not saying that—nor does the Bible. Scripture does affirm, however, that pain comes from sin and Satan and will have no place for the saints in heaven. Amazingly, God is not limited by evil but uses it and, at times, allows it for His good purposes. Just because God uses pain for good doesn’t make it good, nor does doing so make God evil. It just means He is sovereign.

      • Patricia Handa

        Clearly, I misunderstood you. It is very important to make clear that God does not punish us with pain, though of course much pain is, in fact, a natural consequence of poor decisions. Nor does God send pain to teach us, though he can put it to that use once it exists. Many people seem to be confused by this matter, which may drive them away from God, which of course is Satan’s intent in sending the pain! So I felt the need to say something. Thank you for your response!

        • That’s helpful, Patricia. Thanks very much.

  • Wzystko Cokham

    Sorry i’m too “Self” I observed NOTHING productive (for either of us!) by removing my wife (30yrs) to another State! First, Family Unity was shattered, Emotions are still a roller-coaster, Both of our health issues became worse! It was NOT till tonight at a X-mas Night service that I had the Holy Spirit PASS through me and with some much needed comfort. Then again, My wife is still 2,000 miles away and we have not seen each other in over a year! I have gone through this in the Navy for 4 years and then with the Fire Dept with a week being the most time apart. I have unselfishly served our country, my city/state/etc, as a Paramedic and RN for 40 yrs. I know that there is No reward…OK? I would like some rest and NOW that I am retired, she’s is gone physically. My emotional stability is an empty shell. I barely held it together with a Bankruptcy then a Foreclosure notice this year! Then my mother died unexpectedly just before Thanksgiving. So someone please offer me a sanctified reason for ALL of this…Stuff! There is this short Pier I was going to take a Very Long walk on! But then I end up “somewhere” between heaven and hell with the other spent casings that don’t know they are dead! NO! I reason enough to Know Jesus is my savior and the promise of everlasting life is upon me! But what else till then…? Huh? please if you offer a Bible verse, give me some New Test. (except the Last book!!!). This is so very painful!!! Plus I miss my mother too!

    • Thanks for sharing your story, Wzystko. I lost my mother on Thanksgiving as well. I’m grateful the Lord encouraged you at the Christmas Eve service. Much of the comfort you seek I talk through in my book, Waiting on God. You might find some encouragement there.

  • Neal Snow

    It seems like God doesnt give you free will. He’s saying follow me or go to hell. That’s like a robber holding you at gun point telling you to give the money you can say no but you’re just gonna get killed. God is forcing you to follow him through threat of hell.

    • A more accurate description, Neal, would be a person who got sick from terrible eating choices, who then spits in the face of a doctor who offers healing. The choice God offers is to us who have already chosen to sin against Him. God had no obligation to forgive anyone, but His love offers forgiveness. If someone chooses to die when the healing is available, that is their choice. God forces grace on no one.

      • Neal Snow

        Yes he does.
        No one wants to die therefore they have to follow him.

        • Wing

          A more accurate description is God saying come and live well with me or go do your own thing without your creator. Thus hell is the absence of God’s presence and blessings. He’s giving you the choice to live live eternally with him or eternally without him. Why would he need mindless slaves when he is the creator of all things?

  • red

    When God takes away something good from me, i know He is planning something better for me. God will not do anything that will cause us harm. His plans will always be to.make us better.

    • I agree with you, Reg, but that’s a challenging truth to embrace. Takes great faith. Thanks for encouraging us to take the long view today.

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  • Stephen.Horne

    I have had a situation in my life where a girl I love and dated in the past (who is an amazing believer) no longer feels a “Chemistry” anymore. She doesn’t have feelings for me any longer and this crushed me. It made me realize that I do not find my joy in Christ. I have been struggling for months now realizing that my continuous sin of lust has made God quit speaking to me. I have begun to stop the sin and attempt to re-connect with God. However, I am constantly discouraged and have no peace. I ask God to reveal himself to me but It seems fake and I want Him to bring me back to him. After she told me she wasn’t interested, I truly began to question the existence of God. I still struggle with this to this day. I realize sin is my fault and I deserve punishment and a cold shoulder from God. However God seems to refuse to reveal himself to me and still require that I love Him. I find myself more and more agreeing with people angry with God. I know they are wrong and just in pain needing to find a way to express it to someone. However, I don’t want to be angry with God. I want to know he is real and put my life in His hands.

    Lastly my biggest struggle is figuring out why I should love God. If he allows bad things to happen to me (not cause but allows) then why should I love Him? If I come to him will his peace be better than the relationship I had that I no longer have? Is His peace better than anything? I used to think so but always thought I might be kidding myself or just playing the religious game when I said things like that. Now the situation is real and I have no Idea what to do.

    My mother said that God may or may not reveal himself to me. I’m not sure what to do then. If i’m not sure that he will reveal himself to me do I just try and seek him to the best of my ability until he reveals himself again? (Forever possibly?) It seems like God would allow me to live a long and painful life wishing I was with Him but never revealing himself to me until He just decides he wants to. All this to teach me to trust him. What If I waist 30 years of my life learning to trust Him and never finding a girl that I love? Is spending 30 years of my life questioning things and being uncertain all so that God can bring me closer to Him worth it. Theologically it would be worth It because he is my creator and who am I to question him.
    But it is painful and I wish he would make it less so.

    • You’re not alone in your feelings, Stephen. Many of us have been in the dark, lonely place of doubt, discouragement, and despair. But I’m here to tell you, God has not abandoned you. Far from it. Neither has He refused to reveal Himself to you. It just seems as if you’re choosing to define what “revealing Himself” to you looks like. God has revealed all we need to know in the Scriptures, and there we find this truth: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). So if you have confessed, and you are a Christian, it’s simply a matter of walking forward in faith—rather than in feelings.

      Much of what you’re dealing with I have addressed at length in my book, Waiting on God: What to Do When God Does Nothing. I think you’ll find much encouragement and hope there for you. You are not alone. God is waiting to walk beside you. Thanks.

      • Stephen.Horne

        Thank you Brother Wayne.

      • Mia

        Honestly I know to never question God he is a perfectionist in everything he does .. He has slay me yet shall I trust him and I’m so warn out I don’t know wut to do.. I use to ask myself why did people kill themselves now I understand a bit cause there just limites that you can’t handle ..sometimes it feels better to have someone to talk to ….. Pray for me please I’m at my limits ….

        • I prayed for you, Mia. Your discouragement is part of God’s inscrutable plan to draw you closer to Him. For someone to talk to, I highly recommend you find a good Christian counselor in your area. Godly counsel is essential for you right now.

  • Krystal Lynn

    This past Sunday, I buried my fiancé. We had so many plans. He had full custody of his 11 & 12 year old and he loved my 5 year old. I took him to have a bronchoscope done and he never came back to the room. I’m crushed and confused. He had such a big heart and loved his children. I am a Christian and maybe it’s just my flesh talking but I’m loosing my ground. My faith is getting weak.

    • Oh my, Krystal, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the blur of pain and confusion you’re in right now. In spite of all we cannot know about why your finance was taken, we can know that God promises to walk with you—and weep with you—during this season of pain. He presence and sovereignty offer a peace far more comforting than reasons why.

      Although it’s much different than a beloved finance, I lost my mother in a tragic way as well. I wrote about it as well as many comforting truths in my book, Waiting on God. You may find comfort there as well. God can carry you through this season. Don’t give up on Him. Just worship in the midst of your pain and confusion. He will never abandon you, and this painful season is no exception.

  • Jim

    This is an excellent topic and really addresses how we should honor the Lord! As well as putting him first before all things even if we feel bad doing it! Being faithful, like Abraham! He certainly didn’t want to kill his son and felt terrible thinking about it and almost doing it to the point the Lord knew, and then stopped him from doing it. Abraham had the faith that the Lord would provide as he always does among his faithful, never to abandon or forsake us.

    Many times I can say quite honestly that I was a monumental failure when he takes or allows something! Although I ever lost faith and never blamed him. I certainly didn’t handle it properly by thinking I wasn’t worthy (devil speak) or being so negative that it overflowed unto others. I am still learning even in my older years. We are to represent him to perfection that he will eventually mold us into. Knowing we should walk in the light and not cover up his radiance that dwells in his faithful, for it draws those that are in darkness to him by an example we help by serving him. How I wish I acted better in those times, yet it is never too late. We should know and trust him when he says our sins are forgiven, be cognizant of our thoughts and only orate that which is righteous and true. If thoughts are to enter us that are not of the truth and our evil, learn to recognize it and keep our mouths shut. Therefore praying for thoughts that are holy! The Christ said, how can we defeat the Strong Man ( Satan) without binding him up first. We can not, however the Son of Man has the power to do so on our behalf. He never came to condemn and forgave us no matter what our sins were and are. We should also not condemn nor judge certain groups. We should strive to be holy like he is from his example and pray earnestly for those whom we can’t reach. What an AWESOME G-D we have. Giving us a gift ( Eternal Salvation) that is unimaginably the best thing in creation besides his existence!

    • Well said, Jim. I’m glad to hear your story. Also I’m so thrilled to hear that you hung tough when it got tough. Keep pressing on, my friend! God bless.

  • Jim

    Wayne, thank you so much for the encouragement. This is so badly needed among us, as this place gets worse!

    I have so much to learn and it’s certainly not an easy road for me, as it is for many others who have it so much harder! However a great thing to look forward to, is those who overcome, shall have great rewards in the kingdom of heaven!

    • You’re welcome, Jim. We do need to encourage one another. God bless.

  • Natalie Mejia

    I am experiencing a very painful breakup with my boyfriend of 5 years. I always believed God sent him to me because I was so deeply in love and so happy, more than I could put in words. I married young to my first boyfriend, and now I know I shouldn’t have, I went through so many horrible and painful things with him. He did awful things, and I finally walked away. I was young and lost and hurt, and soon after I walked away from that, my boyfriend came into my life. Because I was so happy and I felt such an indescribable love, that is why I believed God sent him to me and he would be the person I would marry. The reason we ultimately have broken up, is mainly his trust issues and insecurity and it breaks my heart. He is also very stubborn and hard to change his mind or see things a different way. I used to only pray for God to restore us, after awhile I began to pray for God to either restore us and lead us to marriage if that is his will, or if it is not his will for him to take that desire out of my heart and put his desires for me in my heart. I want to want God’s will for my life. I talk and pray to God all day, everyday to get me through this. I still so strongly want to be married to this man and want for God to be apart of it, including our own personal relationship with God to be strengthened. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest and maybe I would like if you would pray for me as well. Im just so brokenhearted.

    • I’m so sorry, Natalie, for the pain your experiencing right now. Yes, I will pray for you. During this time where your emotions feel somewhat desperate, it’s good to stay connected with Christian women who can offer you some steadiness and wisdom. Reading the Psalms also can offer hope. If you like books, my new book, Waiting on God may offer some encouragement and hope. God is not done with you, Natalie; nor has He left you. He walks with you during this time.

  • Ginni

    I fear that me telling myself that God took away my blessings for my own spiritual growth is an excuse to explain the randomness of this world and help me feel somehow better when the truth may be that some people are just lucky and I’m not one of them.

    • I understand that fear, Ginni. Totally get it. If all we had were our feelings to guide us, the randomness of the world would match our emotions. God gave us the Scriptures to give us an anchor for our souls, so that when fears, doubts, and conflicting emotions come we have something solid to hold on to. Here are some wonderful promises you can cling to, direct from God.

  • Enrique Scarpa

    I sdo not know why I am living on this planet. I am poor, I do not have a wife, I do not have a car, I do not have a job, I do not have money in the bank, I do not have a house of my own. I do not have hope because no woman will want to have a relationship with a defeated man. I do not have anything. I watch the news and see many people dying and I do not understand why I do not die. When I see a lot of people dying I feel very happy for them because I think. Welll they will not suffer anymore. I wish I were in theis places.

    • It’s easy to get discouraged and even despairing, Enrique. But I encourage you to begin looking at God’s perspective and not at this world alone. Before you pursue your hope in anything or anyone else, I urge you to look to Jesus—the one who took the sins of the world—including yours and mine—on Himself.

  • Massiel Acosta Marchena

    Oh well this is so hard to get my boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago and I don´t seem to move on from him…..he said it was because he wanted to persue his career deeper he even cried and said he was still in love with me….a month and have after I found out he was seeing someone else I don´t know how can you get over someone so quiclkly we were engaged we met studying aboard in Europe we went to 9 countries together he was the first guy I have ever loved ….and I thought he loved me too I have been crying from months over this I even called him when I found out to know if it was true and he denied it but I saw the pictures and ppl sent me conversations he somehow told m e he feels something for her …during christmas he wished me happy holidays but during that call he was extremely mean ….funny thing I was gonna move to his city when we get marry just for him …I NEVER replied his text and for some reason 2 weeks after that text he blocked me from his contacts but I never talked to him I will never understand why I m so devastated….I m not sure if I have done the right thing by not replying but just know he is with her ..he text me with the girl on his profile picture and those two weeks before blocking me me had tones of pictures with her ….I still need despertaly clousure I want to believe God protected me from somenthing worse but still I was 100% he was the man of my life….how come I was so wrong ? I don´t know I will ever feel this way towards anyone and those beautiful memories I have with him I can´t replace them now it´s been 2 months after he blocked me and I feel so sad that ther person I was the closest is the one that wants nothing to do with me I want the whole truth even tho it hurts I want God to reveal to me what was exactly what happened why he left why…..we were so perfect for each other why ???how can God has someone better than him?

    • I’m sorry to hear this, Massiel, for the pain you feel and are experiencing right now. During this time where your emotions feel somewhat
      desperate, it’s good to stay connected with Christian women in your church who can
      offer you some steadiness and wisdom. Reading the Psalms also can offer
      hope. I think my new book, Waiting on God
      may offer some encouragement and hope. God is not done with you, Massiel ; nor has He left you. He walks with you during this time. His plan is best– even though right now it’s tough to understand.

      • Massiel Acosta Marchena

        Thank you that´s exactly what I have been doing but I m honestly not so hopefull when it comes to that area of my life after this situation is like my heart refuses to believe there is someone better out of there for me.

        • Remember that God is right and the emotions of your heart can deceive you. Just one day at a time.

    • Saly

      Massiel, the same happened to me and in my times of crying out to God He showed me not too be like Lots wife; not to look back; its unhealthy. Every time you think of the past you have to push it out of your mind and if you do this consciencely every single time you will develope a habit whereby you begin to stop dwelling on the past. It worked with me; after a week my ex became just a distant memory and I was able to move on. In fact when I saw him one day I could now look upon him as an old friend. God be with you.

      • Massiel Acosta Marchena

        Thank you Saly well it´s good to know you are doing better I just want to get over him sadly yesterday by mistake I found out more info about him cuz we have common friends more lies ….I guess God wanted me to know that he removed him for a reason that hurts cuz it means he isn´t the person I thought he was and he lied most of the time it´s pretty sad….But I guess this sadness will help to trust God more when he pulls someone out of my life…even though it makes not sense to me in the the begining ….

  • Kathy Rockey

    I know that God is punishing me because I am bad and my faith is weak, but the punishment is pushing me even more away. I am losing all faith that he cares or is even there. I want to believe cause I am afraid of hell, but I keep begging and it doesn’t hep. Why would he let me go so easily, why won’t he forgive me.when a parent says no and won’t even tell the kid why they don’t learn anything but we are supposed to just say ok a nd go on our way? I can’t, the pain and guilt is to much but I do not believe he will forgive me I think he’s just tired of me or he just don’t care

    • I’m sorry to hear about your painful time right now, Kathy. I really believe you’re simply listening to the wrong voices. God doesn’t “answer” His children in ways they request— but in ways He determines. God will never give up on you, Kathy. Don’t give up on Him. Your heart, emotions, and even circumstances will at times give you a false impression.

      God speaks to us through His Word, the Scriptures, and He has plenty to tell you there about what you’re going through. Specifically, when it feels like the Father doesn’t care, you need to read and meditate on Romans 8. Read this post about 4 Promises of God to Give You Hope. Also, God tells you that no sin you commit is so great that He won’t forgive you. You simply need to know the way God has provided to clear your guilty conscience.

  • YolondaF

    I’m very, very frustrated, upset and so sad I feel like my heart is breaking! I’ve been single almost 10 years with my focus on God period. Had given up the thought of ever being in a relationship. When I take the leap and decide to consider a Christian man, whose live for God is totally organic and genuine who tells me he wants to get married and settle down and I entertain this idea, I feel like God has snatched my heart within in 1 week my friend dies from a tragic work accident. I think how can this be we just reconnected and began the conversation how can this be, this is just, so, so unfair. I don’t know. I just don’t know why opening my mind and heart for this consideration ever happened. I was thick in my Bible study, not focused on relationships at all and this brief consideration has torn my heart up….

    • Feeling like your heart is breaking is a hard place to be, Yolonda. I’m sorry. I urge you to connect with other Christians in your church and share your pain with them. Don’t remain alone in your thoughts where Satan can feed you lies about the goodness of God in this situation of pain. God has not forgotten you. This time is a time to draw near to Him– not to wander away.

  • Jaime

    when i came here in newcastle because of work i was assigned in a resto pub with a very difficult boss to work with so i was stressing everyday and wished i never came and i prayed then one day i was informed that ill be transferred to another venue. the new venue that im working is really2x a fun one and the boss is so understanding and supportive. i was always thankful to god for putting me there until last week the manager told me that im going back to the old venue but with a new boss. since then i was really angry with god
    on why he wanted me to go back there. til now i didnt speak to him coz i always pray everyday before starting my day but now no more. i jusy dont understand why would he take that away from me coz he knows that im happy there already

    • That sounds very disappointing, Jaime. It’s never easy to understand God’s plan on this of things. I also was asked to leave a job I loved, and at the time, it was very, very hard, confusing, and painful. But now, I look back and see God’s hand all over that situation and His blessing. He knew the big picture. I only saw what was right in front of me.

      The only way you’ll have hope in the future is to place your faith in Jesus Christ, who died for your sins. He gives you a perspective, through the Bible, that allows you to walk each day in faith.

  • Amanda Kuykendall

    Thank you for this post. My husband and I have endured a 10 year struggle with the govt. During this time we had a contract on a property which I had first dreamed (saw the property, house,etc) and then amazingly found. The owners said they believed God wanted us to have it, so they maintained the contract for over 7 years; knowing we were in a battle to complete the purchase. We felt that was God’s amazing providence. Then last week the owners suddenly cancelled the contract, just as we are nearing our completion. We are not angry, but we feel befuddled. 7 years is a very long time to stand in faith *for* something. We stand in faith for God’s new direction…

    • Wow, Amanda, that is so disappointing . . . I’m sorry. I admire your perspective that chooses to stand in faith in spite of the befuddling situation. That’s not easy, but it really is the best way to live. God sees the big picture. Thanks.

  • crystal

    I’m baby boy was took from me by dhs. But I believe god just wanted to show me ,to know the things I was doing ,wasn’t right .So I stopped all, well had to stop all that bad stuff ,for my baby boy to return. I find myself feeling so lonely without my baby so I get angry. Soon I realize that Satan ,making everything bad come at me that would try to make me mess up some how. In I know it cause I’m not putting, God first I’m trying to read more of the lords word so I can get all the negative stuff out of my way forever… So when my son return after I do what the dhs tells me, I know we will be on the right path. I Thank God for making Me Strong to get thru this.

    • I can’t imagine how tough it is to have a child taken, Crystal. I’m sorry. Just continue to cling to God and wait upon His perfect timing. Sometimes heaven is truly what we’re waiting for.

      • Anomaus

        I’m going through the same I’m a 21 yr old female and had 3 babies back to back 123 yr old and they all have been remove from me I had my 2 boys with one father and my 1 baby girl with another and neither or I have and I pray and cps case are close now but all was lies that they put on me and now recently cps case close for my baby girl and she lives with a relative.I never did anything to have taken but I dont understand how god blesses me with them but I can’t keep them now i have to pay child support i still habe a chance to get my daughter back since she not living with her dad she lives with my brother relative and they have me for neglet which i never even had a chance with her ?

  • Ren H.

    God isn’t perfect he’s just some being that controls us for who knows why. Intact I don’t know what he is or what he wants. The fact is he would rather me be an empty husk of a man than leave me be with what I had and that’s terrible. How am I expected to live life now? I have become this creature that eats away at my own loved ones because of my resentment towards god. He’s willing to destroy me before not having it his way. My mind is on the border of destruction. Life gives but mostly takes I guess.

    • Your view of God, Ren, is partly why He seems apathetic and/or incapable of help. He is too small. I have found that circumstances always change our minds about God. They either tempt us to doubt what He has promised, or they draw us closer to Him in faith. But we never stay the same.

      As cruel as it may seem at first, God’s plan for us includes the struggles we face. That doesn’t mean God approves the evil done to us. It does mean, however, God promises to use every experience He allows in our life for our good—if we are Christians (Gen. 50:20; Rom. 8:28).

      It’s tough to see clearly through the blur of pain, and I’m sorry. But I hope you’ll commit to reading the Bible and seeking truth. You have nothing to lose. If you’re willing, I urge you to start with the book of John in the New Testament.

  • Dena

    I feel confused, empty and abandoned. My blessing was part of my testimony. Maybe I’m being punished?

    The other day a co-worker surprised me by saying my life is cursed. The worse possible outcome with anything seems to keep happening to me. I was like “what?” I won’t accept that. I still see Gods hand on my life even though things look grim.

    I know I struggle with Trusting God. Even if I loose everything, can’t I still trust God to take care of me?

    • If you have placed your faith in Jesus, your life is not cursed, Dena. In fact, God promises to bless you beyond measure in the future. Don’t allow someone else’s measurement of you land and take root. God alone is the one who makes that call—and if you have accepted Christ, then He has accepted you. Trusting God is a challenge for all of us. But that’s okay.

    • Christine van Duuren

      2 minutes ago
      If God took something living or a blessing away from you to depend on and believe in him and love him more, then what is the point of loving what he gave you?. I went through a very difficult time a few years back. Having no family and friends to depend on, I was all alone. Even tried to commit suicide. I was so depressed and suffer from chronic depression till this day. God Blessed me with 4 beautiful dogs who he sent to show me love and devotion. I thanked him every day for them and thank God for protecting them. In January /February my 2 girls died very suddenly and my 2 boys had to go for serious operations. If this was His way on telling me that I should focus on him more, then I have to say, God is spiteful and mean. All this has done is make me severely depressed and deveated. My faith is gone. How can God bless me and then take everything from me? How can he expect me to “concentrate more on him” when all the time I fear he will take more from me. All this has showed me is not that God wants me to love him or believe in him more, but that there is no hope of being happy or loving what he gave me, as he will take anything I live away from me. God has failed in showing me to put more in him, living in him and loving him more. He took my spirit, my happiness and my faith away.

  • Christine van Duuren

    If God took something living or a blessing away from you to depend on and believe in him and love him more, then what is the point of loving what he gave you?. I went through a very difficult time a few years back. Having no family and friends to depend on, I was all alone. Even tried to commit suicide. I was so depressed and suffer from chronic depression till this day. God Blessed me with 4 beautiful dogs who he sent to show me love and devotion. I thanked him every day for them and thank God for protecting them. In January /February my 2 girls died very suddenly and my 2 boys had to go for serious operations. If this was His way on telling me that I should focus on him more, then I have to say, God is spiteful and mean. All this has done is make me severely depressed and deveated. My faith is gone. How can God bless me and then take everything from me? How can he expect me to “concentrate more on him” when all the time I fear he will take more from me. All this has showed me is not that God wants me to love him or believe in him more, but that there is no hope of being happy or loving what he gave me, as he will take anything I live away from me. God has failed in showing me to put more in him, living in him and loving him more. He took my spirit, my happiness and my faith away.

    • Reading your story saddens me, Christine. I’m sorry. Our life’s quest can quickly become trying to find a person or situation—or anything—that will make us feel good. That kind of unhealthy dependency makes us slaves of our circumstances—a sure recipe for disaster. Everybody in your life will fail us to some degree. And let me quickly add, we will also fail them. But the most humbling reality? We fail ourselves. In this imperfect world, no person or circumstance can possibly produce the exact ingredients for your emotional stability and happiness. It must come from elsewhere. Sometimes you may have been feeling depressed for so long that you need the help of a professional Christian counselor. There’s nothing wrong with that—any more than a broken bone needs an MD. Nevertheless, you can begin to reshape your thinking today.

      I have lost dogs as well—dear companions to me. I’ve also lost my mother; she died in a terrible way. It would be really easy to blame God for this, because He could have stopped it all. But this view reduces God to a god in our image—one we shape to our liking.

      The Lord isn’t toying with your life, Christine. He isn’t giving and then taking in an act of cruelty. In fact, He gave His Son to die on a cross as a payment for your sins. Jesus’ resurrection proves God’s love for you and His promise that if you believe in Jesus, you have your sins forgiven and eternal life forever. This life now is precious to us, but it’s not all there is to eternity. There is much more to come—a time that has no more death, tears, or pain.

  • Lindsay Greene

    I’m still in the waiting of God and am learning that it’s in his timing NOT in mine it may be 10 years for me but to God it’s a blink of an eye. I’ve miscarried 2 babies recently it was hard for me to understand the why, but I just recently learned the reason why I lost the 2 babies. It’s still hard to grasp but the fact that I lean on God for support and comfort it’s made me a stronger person. I’ve come to this verse so many times to lean on Hebrews 6:19.

    • What a great perspective, Lindsay—and Hebrews 6:19 is a great verse on hope. If you like books, my new book, Waiting on God
      may offer some encouragement while you wait. Thanks so much for standing strong.

  • Prakash

    Really our heart gets wounded with tears and grief…..in my case its god who blessed me a girl as my wouldbe wife….three years of life, we developed strong love…to be honest we lived as husband and wife…my lover comes home once a week and cooks at my home….we had taken new home introduced to the neighbours as we are married..and three and half’s years the life went very well……even though we had not married officially we lived as husband and wife….which society knows but her parents doesnt know……suddenly my partner broke with me for silly reason and gone away….I AM WOUNDED AND WITH SHAME I AM DOWN…..I DONT NO THE REASON WHT IT HAS HAPPENED… Really keep praying god with trust that he can make alright…..with strong trust that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD

    • I’m sorry you’re hurting, Prakash. Sometimes shame is God’s call to return to Him. For some encouragement on how to deal with your shame, read this post. There is hope for your future.

    • Larissa Sandlin

      You were not legally married. You did not make covenant before God. This sin left a door open so the devil had right to destroy your relationship.

  • Courtney Chadwick-Annan

    Question. If God wanted you to be something (i.e. career wise) would He take it away from you if you kept making mistakes on your way to that career? Is there a limit to the chances we have and the grace He gives? I know God is all powerful, but is it possible for us to get in the way of His plans for our lives?

    • That’s a great question, Courtney. Yes, on one hand, our willful sin can cause us to lose potential blessings—and to some degree, we all suffer this loss. For example, after King David’s willful sin, God told him: “I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these!” (2 Samuel 12:8).

      On the other hand, to answer your question: “Is there a limit to the chances we have and the grace He gives?” we can always start over in our relationship with God—even after significant failure. There is no limitation to God’s grace in that sense. His grace doesn’t mean we have no consequences; it does mean we have no condemnation (Romans 8:1).

      Also, even when we fail miserably, God’s sovereign grace still “causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Thanks.

    • Gina Covington Wright

      I stumbled upon this site looking for guidance. Reading all the questions this seems most like what I was looking for. I haven’t read Wayne’s answer yet but am looking forward to seeing what it is.

      • Hi, Gina. I’m not sure if the answer to Courtney’s question didn’t show up for you, but you can read it here. Feel free to respond if I’ve missed something. God bless.

        • Gina Covington Wright

          I did see it Wayne, thanks for the reply. I was just excited to see a question pertaining to what I was looking for, so responded immediately, without reading the answer first. I enjoyed reading this blog today and as an avid reader, I’ve looked at your book as well. May purchase in the future. Thank you!


    Things are going off this year, its like my name demagnetizes good things. Very good opportunities come and just slip through my fingers. I do my best, give my whole and everybody appreciates it. But nothing good comes to me, i just want to give up. I pray like av never prayed before.

    • You’re not alone, as much as it may feel like you are. Many, many of us get weary of waiting on God—including me. (That’s one reason I wrote a book on it.) Praying like you’ve never prayed before is not a bad thing, even though it’s taken struggle to urge you to go that deep with God. If you have a pastor, it would be really good for you to share your story with him and take his counsel. Of course, reading the Bible– especially the Psalms– will help your heart as you wait on God.

  • April15

    You say God takes things away from us for our own good. Does this apply to losing a spouse to death? How could that ever be *used for good*?

    • Put it those terms, it sounds inadmissible and cruel. Read this comment made by another reader who experienced exactly what you’ve proposed. The Bible never suggests that losing a spouse is good—neither are any other evil things we experience. But Scripture promises God uses those evil events in our lives. It’s harder to explain that to experience, and if you have experienced it, I’m asking God to give you comfort beyond words and faith in Him. God bless.

      • April2015

        Thank you for your reply. I’m having trouble understanding two things; does God take our loved ones away from us for certain reasons? I was married for 26 years and suddenly lost my husband. I can’t cope or see *the good in this*. Secondly, why is God taking marriage away in the new earth/resurrection as stated in Matthew, Mark etc. Jesus states *there will be no marriage*. If marriage was made by God in the beginning, why is He taking it away?Why fall in love only to lose that person. This has caused me a great deal of depression and loss of hope. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

        • Of course, yes—God has His reasons, but they are known only to Him. There will be marriage, in a sense, in heaven—because we Christians will collectively be the bride of Christ. No other human will have our devotion. As hard as that is to understand in this life, one day it will make perfect sense to you. For now, God tells us to walk by faith—and trust Him completely.

          One of our greatest temptations we face comes when circumstances tempt us to doubt God’s goodness. Even Jesus asked from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?” (Mark 15:34). In spite of His questioning, Jesus committed Himself to the Father (Luke 23:46). We need to make that same connection.

          I have found that my greatest challenges come not from those circumstances that press in upon me, but from the internal struggle to surrender my will to God. Life will hand you what seems like a raw deal when God invades our comfortable lives. And when God’s will for you seems cruel to you and anything but good, you will wage no greater battle than the surrender of your will. At that moment, when God’s goodness seems like a hypocritical pile of hogwash, you stand only inches away from using anger to justify your sin. But don’t do it.

          I promise you, surrendering your will to God’s will lies at the very core of whatever grieves you. And surrendering in absolute trust to the Father—as Jesus did in Gethsemane—remains the only path to peace. Especially when you can make no sense of it all. There are truths about struggle in the Christian life that we can easily miss.

          I’m sorry it’s so tough. Spend some time with a mature Christian friend or even a good counselor.

          • April2015

            Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and help me understand. I must be honest that I was never taught that *God takes people away*. I was always taught that death only occured due to the sin we all inherited, so this has opened my eyes to a whole new perspective on how God *works*. I was told I was wrong by a local Pastor when I asked if God took people from us for certain reasons. He said no and my thoughts were wrong as God doesn’t do that. This is why I reached out to you. I must also admit I’m really struggling with the fact my husband and I won’t be married/together on the new earth. But I have no choice but to accept God’s word as much as it may hurt. So many religions teach that spouses will be reunited after the resurrection. This causes great confusion. Thank you so much for being so kind in replying and for all the help you provide to so many. Ps. I’ve tried both of your suggestions, everyone I talk with (Christians) have different answers, this is what is very depressing as well. Thank you again.

          • I can certainly understand why it’s confusing and discouraging to get different answers from different people. I urge you to seek your source of truth from Scripture, because people (including me) have flaws and agendas and biases. Death certainly does occur because of sin, but the timing of our deaths is something that God uses for His sovereign purposes. Your disappointment about not begin married in heaven is understandable and it’s a glowing testimony of your love for your husband. Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts in this life, and it is a picture of Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). That picture will become reality—in a FAR more fulfilling way—in the kingdom of God. The best we can imagine doesn’t even come close. As Paul wrote: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). We are all growing and learning. If anyone tells you something, ask them to show it to you in the Word. God bless you as you continue to seek him and help others to do the same.

  • Ej

    Three weeks ago I was turned up side down. That Monday I received a promotion and that Friday I lost my job. The average person would just lose their mind, but I felt at peace, but now Im confused, angry, and depressed because everyday I ask, WHAT HAPPENED AND WHY?????? I wanna pray but I feel that I won’t be focused because of my anger, doors are being closed and I feel my back up against a wall. I don’t understand why God allowed this to happen????

    • That’s hard to read, EJ. God wasn’t asleep at the wheel that day. It came from the wisdom of his providential will, even though it may seem (and certainly feel) otherwise. Understand that God sovereignly allowed these things to occur— and not because of his carelessness or cruelty or indifference. Sovereignty often hides its reasons behind the veil of God’s unimaginable insight. As was the case with Christ’s death on the cross— the most evil of all events that brought about the most good of all events— there remains a good purpose in your life from the evil you endured. I know that feels like a tough pill to choke down. Often we don’t see the importance or significance of our early years until much, much later. Sometimes only hindsight puts reason on the seeming cruelties of God’s providence. Sometimes only heaven offers that hindsight. Either way, we’re waiting on God.

  • Trish

    Thanks Wayne for this post. There seems to be a pattern on how God has been dealing me, that is to remove anyone that i’ve grown closely attached with, always. Or close down any excellent career or ministry opportunities that come my way. This is already a “thorn in the flesh” that appears like a curse or a misfortune that’s happening in my life.

    I made a commitment to follow the Lord, and to serve Him… but that moment on, things seem to go downhill. It’s very painful to me, emotionally and spiritually to be “disciplined” by the Lord this way; i know i have not been very faithful in my work for Him. But i long to experience God’s favor again. It may not be mature to long for this, but like a child, when you feel distant, you want to experience God again in His abundant love and gifts. Thanks Wayne for this website. I also hope to have such ministry in the future, I am a Christian Counselor myself, ironically.

    • I believe it’s no coincidence, Trish, that the time of your dedication to God is also the time when the opposition seemed to begin. As a Christian, you have an adversary who is bent on your destruction. So, that very real opposition certainly plays a part. However, God makes no mistakes—even in what He permits—and if it seems the Lord is closing door after door, you can be certain He has a good reason for it. If you’ve not read yet my book, Waiting on God, I think it will offer you the encouragement you need during this season of waiting. Joseph in Genesis did nothing wrong to deserve all the mistreatment and slammed doors he faced. God simply had a bigger and better plan. I am confident the same is true of you.

    • Trish, you got a response on my blog from Cort. If you’d like to respond, here’s the link: http://disq.us/p/1ctyzjg

      Same here. God took my husband away..my marriage, my
      dreams, the future I wanted. God has not answered my many, many prayers
      to bring him back home. Hes been utterly silent on it. It hurts so much
      because its God who has now disappointed us. I had a friend who kept
      telling me, “God is not concerned with your happiness but with your
      holiness.” Its brutal “advice”but incredibly true. God wont allow me to
      have my lifr back or even renewed amd why? Because we exist for Him
      and not the other way around. Amd if were content and happy as is then
      we dont feel a need for God. But when God takes things from us or
      refuses to give us blessings we ask for, then it keeps us in contact
      with him. Were prayerful then and that pleases Him.

  • Diane Parslow,

    I am Diane Parslow, from New York USA, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank Dr. Ogbefi for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. Dr. Ogbefi released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Dr. Ogbefi for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. solutionoflovespelltemple@hotmail.com that is his email address solutionoflovespelltemple@hotmail.com And also his WhatsApp Number: +2348056932763

  • Faith

    Thanks for this 4 yrs old post which is as fresh as today’s. God’s words / messages are fresh every day.

    I am so thankful to God, for His great love. He sometimes have to forcefully remove the things we enjoy and hold too tight (even when do not please God) for our own good. Yes Job is the best example.

    Much blessings

    • Thank you, Faith. Yes, God’s Word is as true as it is timeless. God bless.

  • Michael King

    Music has always been a huge part of my life. Even my son said that it ‘makes up a portion of my entire being’. One of my earliest memories is listening to a song from the sixties. I was only four at the time. When I listen to music, I don’t just hear the notes or the words. I hear the emotion beneath the melody. I feel the breath of the song and flow along with the tune.

    It has always been a part of my way forward. Sometimes it kept me on the straight path. Other times I fell off the path.

    When I came to God, my faith rose by listening to praise and worship songs along with reading the Bible. With each new song I found I felt my love for Him grow.

    So… why did He make me give up the music? I had this strong feeling and words in my head. ‘Give up the music. Give it up’. Along with other things I had to leave behind, (Like Facebook, manga, online games) why was music one of them?

    I understand not listening to music gives me more time to pursue things that bring me closer to Him… but honestly. I can truly understand right now how Abraham must have felt when asked to sacrifice Isaac. It hurts so much… but I keep telling myself it is for the good of God. I cannot allow myself to be bitter at Him or anyone around me.

    Why the music though?

    • Great question, Michael. Although you may have asked “Why the music?” in a rhetorical sense (and although I can’t know God’s will for you), if your inkling of Abraham is any true connection, you’ll remember that: “God tested Abraham” (Gen. 22:1). The Lord never intended to take Isaac away completely—only to test Abraham’s willingness. Was Isaac more important? Maybe that’s why Jesus reminded us of the greatest commandment of all—to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). The word “all” leaves no room for rivals. Anything that crowds out our love for God is—let’s call it what it is—an idol. I’ve had a number of Isaacs taken from me as well, Michael. Those painful moments are always a good test of who has first place in my heart. Thanks.

  • Sis

    Perhaps someone can put this into perspective. At the end of 2013 I lost my job. It was always one of my worst fears. I live thru just over two years of hell. I am so.paranoid that I will lose my current job as well. I try to give it to God but it has control over me. Also, I’ve never understood why people say God has a bigger plan for us. I used two thirds of my savings acct to help support myself. I’ll never get that $$ back. How is that a good thing?

    • No doubt, Sis, it’s not a good thing. It’s a really hard experience. Even a bad one. I went through a similar situation about 11 years ago, and it was grueling. Far from good. But the promise God gives us isn’t that the experience will necessarily be good—but what He produces from it will be good for those who believe in Jesus Christ. Our challenge, of course, is waiting on God. It’s essential that you continue to read God’s Word regularly, stay in fellowship and service with a good church, and engage with believers who can pray with you and encourage you. That’s the only way perspective comes.

      • Sis

        Well, I’m not a churchgoer and don’t belong to a church. I consider myself to be more spiritual than religious. I pray all on my own. I do watch Joel Osteen occasionally.and do a lot of googling for prayers and bible verses that are similar to my situation.

        I really developed that spirituality while I was unemployed and struggling to keep myself sane. My parents are deceased so I don’t have anyone to fall back on.

        • If you’re wanting to have a relationship with the God who created you—or even if you simply want an intellectually honest search for truth—it makes sense to read the Bible, starting with the Book of John. In life, we need an anchor of truth. There is no comfort or security in a sea of opinions.

  • Cort Cort

    Trish. ..

    Same here. God took my husband away..my marriage, my dreams, the future I wanted. God has not answered my many, many prayers to bring him back home. Hes been utterly silent on it. It hurts so much because its God who has now disappointed us. I had a friend who kept telling me, “God is not concerned with your happiness but with your holiness.” Its brutal “advice”but incredibly true. God wont allow me to have my lifr back or even renewed amd why? Because we exist for Him and not the other way around. Amd if were content and happy as is then we dont feel a need for God. But when God takes things from us or refuses to give us blessings we ask for, then it keeps us in contact with him. Were prayerful then and that pleases Him.

  • Jo

    What I lost didn’t bring anything good on my life at all. Still trying to understand how to deal with that and years after I still don’t know 🙁

    • The end of the story is not today, Jo. God has a future for you that includes walking with Him and waiting on Him. It’s the same for all of us, though our stories are all different. You’re not alone. Many, many of us get weary of waiting on God—including me. (That’s one reason I wrote a book on it.) If you have a pastor, it would be really good for you to share your story with him and take his counsel. Of course, reading the Bible– especially the Psalms– will help your heart as you wait on God.

  • jeff hildebrand

    I don’t bother having dreams or relationships anymore because God gets jealous if anything good happens to me or if I enjoy something.

    • You’re not alone in your anger with God, Jeff. At the same time, many have found that anger stems from an unexpected place. Personally, I’ve struggled against believing lies about the Christian life and the Bible– stuff the Word never teaches. Ultimately, I’ve found that when I thought God has let me down, instead it was my false expectations that had disappointed me.

      It’s not as though God has duped us. Rather, it’s that we have selective hearing and a limited perspective. He told us the truth. Nevertheless, we’re surprised when normal includes some serious struggle. In reality, the surprise should come if we do not experience trouble (1 Cor. 7:28; 1 Thess. 3:3-4; 1 Pet. 4:12; 1 John 3:13).

      Sometimes God’s greatest acts of love come in saying no to our requests, because He wants to give us much, much more than answers to third grade questions. He wants to grow us up to be like His Son—and the Father will never stop this relentless pursuit in our lives.

    • disqus_znTohz52QD

      I am sure God take pleasure to see people (like me) suffering. Maybe He experiments with people to see until what level of pain people remain faithful to Him. The more you endure the sufferings, the more intense the sufferings He will give, until you fail and repent. That’s my experience from my whole life, starting at the time I was just born until today, more than 50 years later. All years of non stop more and more intense sufferings. But He has always the good excuse to do it: our sins! – as if other peoples never sinned – so we don’t even have the right to complain! He is alway just and we are always wrong, even when we aren’t, just because he said in the book of Job:

      “He putteth my feet in the stocks, he marketh all my paths. Behold, in this thou art not just: I will answer thee, that God is greater than man. Why dost thou strive against him? for he giveth not account of any of his matters.” (Job 33:11-13)

      I understand that God may test out faith during a certain amount of time, but when the sufferings last a lifetime, I don’t call it a testing, I call it a CURSE! And until now I have found nobody that can tell me how to break these curses, but that of course is part of the curse itself, God makes it sure that cursed people can never obtain deliverance! God is love? Excuse me, but I doubt it.

      • Debbie George

        Jeff I couldn’t agree more. I’m such a fool. I still forgive all those who hurt me yet I stand up for myself with a simple word. Not even mean about it and suffer the consequences to all extreme. I’ve begged for forgiveness for my sins not to mention karma has never let me get away with anything. I get punished here on earth and still worry and pray that I am forgiven in fear of further punishment when I die. It never ends. If that’s not a curse then what is. I’m not even a bad person I. Am no Angel but I have never hurt anyone. I may have hurt someone feelings​. But if I am aware if it or brought to my attention I have always apologized sincerely.i don’t get it.

        • Debbie, every answer you seek is in God’s Word; it’s not in soap operas or in others’ opinions or even in your own feelings. God has not forgotten you; He has spoken to you. But you’ll always struggle to hear and believe the truth unless you saturate your mind and heart in Scripture. Need a great place to start? The Psalms.

          • Debbie George

            I have read the Psalms over and over. The soap thing I put in the wrong site. I don’t compare my life to a TV show I don’t know how that ended up on this site. I have prayed for m sins. If God doesn’t believe how sorry I am and the guilt I carry for the things I have done.bthey were not the end if the world things but I hurt it her people’s feelings before. Maybe I just don’t know how to be a good person I have prayed to be better. I have taken care if people my whole life. Maybe I didn’t do it right it more hours I don’t know. I take the blame when others hurt because I just want everyone to he happy. But when I said no for the first time I m punished. A man warned me not to cross him to listen to him or else. I did everything he wanted but when I finally stood up for myself I loose my daughter and grandchildren. I didn’t listen to him I stood up to him and will pay the ultimate price. I lost the people I love. If God doesn’t hate me than the only other conclusion is evil prevails.

          • Reading the Psalms is a great start. But applying them is the challenge. They often start with the same feeling of hopelessness you have expressed– but unlike what you’ve written, they don’t stay there. In spite of what seems like evil has prevailed, the psalmist trusts God. Your burden, Debbie, is one I urge you to share with a godly woman at a good, believing church. Don’t walk this valley alone.

          • Jolene Cleverly

            Don’t have anyone.

    • Jolene Cleverly

      I don’t either. No need to try when all I end up with is being a failure and loss. Tired of being the losser. No blessing yet. How much longer do I have to wait?

  • Lonita

    I’ve learned that I love my son Jon to the core of my heart. I also no when God took him home, the pain is also to the core of my heart and is very tough. But I look around at people that have not had the love I have that reaches the core. In all my pain I realize how blessed I’m am to have that deep of love. Though now it hurts every part of my being, I would do it all again even if I knew I would go through this. I pray for people who will not let the core of their heart be touched for fear of pain. For me there is nothing worth living without loving that deep I love you Jonboy. You taught what love truly is.

    • Perhaps, Lonita, you have discovered, as I have, that heaven seems far more real the more people we know who go there ahead of us. Our loved ones who have died are like the leaves inside branches waiting for the spring. Life is still there, hiding behind death, until something cues it to resurrect. Timothy Keller reminds us: “Resurrection is not just consolation—it is restoration. We get it all back—the love, the loved ones, the goods, the beauties of this life—but in new, unimaginable degrees of glory and joy and strength.” This life, as real as it is, represents only a slice of reality—just a fraction of our total existence. Heaven is a lot longer than the dash on our tombstones. Our death is but a doorway to God’s broad expanse of eternity. His promises extend beyond the grave. This life is only the foyer to forever. God made us for eternity—and Jesus Christ is the way we get there. May the Lord comfort you through a deepening faith in the Savior.

  • Moby

    He keeps showing me signs and opportunities throughout my life so far, however, always been taking it away BEFORE on my hand, allowed not even once. It’s been fifteen years since I began praying for the common goal my family has, and unlike the rest of my family got the response, I couldn’t find any clue yet, and still am seeking for it. I’m the only person fall behind in my family. More strangely, I pray desirely, desperately and passionately than anyone else, it keeps off from me.

    • It’s always difficult, Moby, to wait on God when it seems He is doing nothing. But those small moments of encouragement along the way are His way of saying, “Don’t give up. Don’t quit. I haven’t forgot you.” Sometimes also the Lord is waiting to see if we’re willing to surrender to Him what we long for most so that He alone becomes what we’re longing for—not His blessings.

  • Sad

    God is giving me kids and takes away their fathers I have three I am raising them alone with no support what kind of love is this what have I done to deserve this now I was planning to go overseas to join the father of my kids he tells me now he has a partner there what kind of love is this

    • I lived with the reality of a broken home for years also, and it is so, so difficult—on the children as well as the parents. I’m sorry. I have discovered in my walk with God that when I set the parameters for what His love should look like, I usually miss it by a mile. His wisdom far outweighs ours—which is clear by how much sorry He permits. If we acknowledge our Father’s goodness only in the pleasant things He allows, we yield to a childish nature that misses an astounding part of God’s love. We miss the wonderful growth we can experience from praising a good God who uses even our pain for our advantage.

      God demonstrated His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Jesus died for our sins to pay the penalty we deserved (Romans 5:8). When I think of that, it isn’t hard to see God’s love for us.

  • Khayare

    God gave me a husband and took him away, I have realised I didn’t not see how good he was until he left me. Crying foul

    • It’s never easy, Khayare, to see all that God has blessed us with until it’s gone. But His purpose for you isn’t over. Keep seeking Him and He will show you what is next.

      • Danny Allen Puckett

        Wayne, of course God has taken things from me. But with me, your topic triggered the thought that there are a lot of things I have desired that He has not given me. God knows what He is doing, and both ways of looking at this topic require faith!

        • That’s such a great perspective, Danny. Thanks for sharing it. Needed to hear it today!

    • disqus_znTohz52QD

      The same thing is going to happen to my wife too, if she continues to keep me enclosed in a basement in a horrible city for already more than 17 years!!!

  • Carol Baker

    God gave me what I needed most, then took it away – a man who was able to touch my mind and then my heart to show me a better way to be the real me and a better way to react to others and to myself. Because he is gone, I feel a strong loss and can’t function well not knowing why. I thought it was love I felt for the man but it was the release of love in my heart for God to use. God sent the man to me with the purposing to heal my spirit, his purpose is complete and he will move on, my purposing now is to use what he taught me to help another.
    God works through us to achieve His goals for us.
    It’s like the saying that some people come into our lives for a day, or a week, or a month, or a season or forever….Each has their purpose. I wanted him to stay forever, he stayed for a year. God had His own agenda and time frame, not mine. I must remember to be happy God used me and content with what I have, in place of the loss I now have a purpose.

    • It’s great, Carol, that you recognize God’s hand in your life. His is not the will of a cruel sovereign but a good, loving Lord who offers us good things—even when He allows events that hurt us deeply. God demonstrated His love for us in this: while we were still sinners,
      Jesus died for our sins to pay the penalty we deserved (Romans 5:8).
      When I think of that, it isn’t hard to see God’s love for us. God bless you, Carol.

  • Mor Shine

    Omgoodness..I need all you ppl in my life. I really do! We can all sit around and wonder why why why??? After I punched the wall this morning, I realized maybe God is good after all. He gives what we pray for even though we might think he or she is good for us.I once asked God if he show me what an angel looked like,20 minutes later I’m choking on a piece of cantaloupe. Unbeliever I worked for saved my life. God is a mighty God. He can use anyone to represent an angel. I pray for a husband. He sent a man I so loved and then the man tried to kill my daughter and took his own life. I’m careful in what I pray for. At that time I seen who really is my true friends and family. I have been single for a long time now. I don’t like it but hey what makes me think I deserve to live the best of life. Suffering helps me have empathy towards others. It’s humbling…thankful but Im also angry cause I can’t do man things like kill a rat that’s in my bunny cage to save bunny so I punch a wall and tell God im sorry…. I don’t like this but I know deep down you got to have something for me. I spit my thumb out my mouth and cry then I pray. Learning to get my mind off me.

    • Sometimes it’s hard to see God’s hand in our lives when pain is all we feel. I urge you to make a serious commitment to reading God’s Word this year. It is there—and there alone—He will speak to you, guide you, and show you the good plans He has for you. Also getting involved in a good church will give you the collective wisdom of others. You’re not alone.

  • EliseeNormil1314

    I agree Mr. Wayne. God knows what button to push or what thing to take away in order for us to be drawn back to him. Recently I have been falling in love with the world. Relationships and stuff was just messing up my spiritual life. Then God knew what button to push (in precise timing too) and my heart broke into a million pieces and I went straight to God in prayer. He filled me with his peace, then Satan had put me in another bondage. I am currently, piece by piece, breaking free. I let God have it all, and I realized, if I try to love this world, it will stab me in the heart. God bless brother.

    • Those are always challenging times, for sure. Thankfully, God’s grace is bigger than our failures and His love is larger than our weaknesses. In those times, I try to get alone with God and ask His help to stay aware of Satan’s attacks and to refocus on surrendering to God. It is the only path to peace.

  • Sandford Michelo

    I think God hates me for no reason. I have always prayed to him sincerely but whatever i tried and try to do fails.i have struggled for many years now. It really hates to see people who are wicked and are not as hardworking as you are live wonderful and happy lives whilst you’re are crying almost daily. God just takes away from me but he never gives me anything! Now i am on the crossroads in my christian life.

    • You’re not alone, Sandford, in your struggle against what God isn’t doing. Left to ourselves and our own reasoning, we’ll cower in a ball of despair. But thankfully, God has given us His Word, which addresses the very issue you’re struggling with.

      Read these words from Psalm 73:

      “This is what the wicked are like— always carefree, they increase in
      wealth. Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed
      my hands in innocence. All day long I have been plagued; I have been
      punished every morning. If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ I would have
      betrayed your children. When I tried to understand all this, it was
      oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood
      their final destiny. Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast
      them down to ruin. How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept
      away by terrors! As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord,
      you will despise them as fantasies.” (Psalm 73:12–20)

      This psalm gives you two things to do, Sandford:

      1. Consider the end of the wicked (destruction) and your own end through faith in Jesus Christ (salvation). If you think about it, God has given you much more than He has taken.
      2. “Enter the sanctuary of God.” Find a good church that will teach you the Word and offer the encouragement of perspective, which you really need right now. God never meant us to face the Christian life alone.

      • disqus_znTohz52QD

        There are NO MORE “good church” anywhere. They are become big multimillions dollars evil entertainment theatres. I went to hundred of churches in the city where I am living now to try to find one who people care about other people. I found NOT EVEN ONE! I am rejected and everywhere!

      • disqus_znTohz52QD

        There are no “good church” anymore. I went to hundreds of churches in the city where I am living now and found NOT EVEN ONE where people care about other people and where I am accepted. Everywhere I went I was rejected. The last sermon I have heard was a sermon telling people NOT to give to people in need because God will Himself take care of these people – the true purpose being that ALL that people are willing to give as donation must be given to the church and nobody else! All these “churches” have become dens of thieves.
        Church is not a building, it’s not a theatre, it’s not a concert hall, it’s not a communauty centre, it’s not an organization, and it’s not a club where members pay membership!
        God NEVER said to people to GO to a “church”, He said to people to BE to church.

  • Mary Ludolph

    I learned how to love….and realized how short life is…how anyone or anything can be taken away from you forever…

    • Losing someone or something does offer perspective, Mary. But the good news is that anyone who believes in Jesus for forgiveness of sins doesn’t lose someone else forever. Rather, there is a temporary separation before you live together forever in heaven. If you can get a Bible, please read the book of John in the New Testament. I think this will help.

  • clayton3120 clayton3120

    God’s system of testing has certainly left me scratching my head, as He tests me in ways I never heard of before or could imagine.
    It all leads to contemplating His superior wisdom and love. But… nevertheless,,,, your tests are pretty mysterious Lord. Pretty mysterious. I’m going with it, but am I the ONLY one you test in this way? I don’t question God, I question myself. Maybe I’m way more sinful than I knew to deserve such treatment.

    • Yes, the Lord’s ways are mysterious, often taking us the long way. The most important thing is to trust and surrender. Not an easy assignment. Thanks and God bless.

  • em111

    well, I don’t think God wants me or anyone who is looking to Him and has Him in their heart to be miserable. In the midst of struggles it is not easy to remember that God knows what’s going on with you and how you feel. I have complained, loudly, only to calm down and remember that this is what faith is about; in the face of hardship, you have faith that what is happening is for your own good, somehow. Maybe not now, but later, and that if you ask for help, it will come. You have a purpose, it can only be fulfilled by following your particular road, in faith. Try not to be miserable or believe for a minute that God wants you to be. Just hang on, over the hill, something better is coming and in a way that you can’t imagine or expect. Remember, you are blessed, even in the midst of your confusion and pain, just ask for help to get through it, it will come…it will come.

    • That’s a great perspective—faith. Even if misery ever has a purpose, it means to drive us to repentance so that we can received the life that is life indeed.

  • Jul Olssen

    I was falling madly deeply unconditionally and relentlessly in love with a man whom I have been waiting all my life for. After waited for 17 long years finally I have found a very wonderful good and beautiful hearted man of whom I’d marry and growing old with and I was losing him to heart failure. I broke down and crying in my sleep for days and still does till these days because I know I can never love nor finding the man that I love, cherished and adored like I did with him. He was one of the million, a rare beautiful man. He bought us both beautiful rings that are so expensive (which I did not expecting nor did I want him to throwing his money that way) to expressing his love for me but that wedding plans had never happened.

    Why did God took him away from me after I had waited so long for a man like him? Words cant described the way I was feeling. I can never love a man like him,ever. To Garry Olssen, rest in peace my one and only true love and I will be forever loving you till the end of my life. I love you my baby♥♥♥

    Yours forever,

    • I can’t imagine, Jul, the pain you’re experiencing. The disappointment and disillusionment. Although I cannot give a reason why the Lord allowed it, we can look beyond the 17 years to eternity from a larger perspective. Rather than fixate on the size of your problem, focus on the size of your God. I don’t mean to minimize your pains. They’re real. They hurt. They even seem cruel at times. Instead, I’m suggesting you keep them in perspective.

      God asks rhetorical questions of Himself that we should ponder:

      Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the
      breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the
      earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills
      in a balance? . . . Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
      they are regarded as dust on the scales; He weighs the islands as though
      they were fine dust. —Isaiah 40:12, 15

      Yes, the pain is there. But keep it in perspective. God is bigger. Draw close to Him during this time by reading the Psalms and by getting involved in a small group in a good church that can walk with you during this time. Don’t go it alone. I’m praying for you.

  • disqus_znTohz52QD


    It is written:

    “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

    Now may I ask you a question:

    What does that mean? Suffering tens of years of abuse since birth + Suffering from various illnesses + experiencing being rejected by every people everywhere + Working and never being paid like producing music CD’s that are afterward pirated + Losing your house + Losing all your income + Being forced by your spouse to leave your country to go to be enclosed in horrible place since year 1999 using you own borrowed credit cards money until hundreds of thousand of dollars of debt + being mocked by familly members and “Christian people” instead of being helped, +, +, +,… I can contimue to write one hundred of pages.

    Ity’s too easy and useless to write things like “I can’t imagine the pain you’re experiencing” while yourself can enjoy your home(s), your vacation(s), your life, your church communauty, etc… In the Bible it is written:

    “He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.” (Luke 3:11)

    Now how is it possible that in the church there are people that own more than an house, or even more than three while other like me have nothing? How do you yourself apply and teach other people to apply what it is written in Luke 3:11? When will somebody GIVE me something I really need instead of saying useless things like “I can’t imagine the pain you’re experiencing” or “I will pray for you” that doesn’t cost people one cent?

    You have read the book of Job? My life is thousands of times worse. Job lost his familly, but my familly members here doesn’t just die, they are part of my enemies that torture me non stop!


  • disqus_znTohz52QD

    True Christians only suffer insofar as false brothers and sisters in Christ refuse to help them.

  • disqus_znTohz52QD

    Telling or writing words of consolation to suffering people is useless. That have never helped me, What I need now is true brothers and sisters and Christ that are willing now to DO something about my situation, not only speaking about my situation. Would you be happy if you were enclosed in a building in fire and the firemen outside are just telling words of consolation like “You must be suffering in this heat”, or “I know what it feels at this temperature”, but are not willing to use one drop of water? A lot of Christians are just like these false firefighters, they call themselves “Christians” but obviously they are not.

  • disqus_znTohz52QD

    How NOT to be a Christian:

  • disqus_znTohz52QD

    A pastor preaching beautiful Bible verses to a suffering brother or sister is like a doctor saying to his patient at the hospital:

    “Your X-ray showed a broken rib, but we fixed it with Photoshop.”


  • April2015

    Hi Wayne, I posted to you here several months ago and you were very kind in replying to me several times. I had posted about losing my 46yr old husband suddenly to a still unknown heart problem. I was asking you if God takes people (such as spouses) from us for certain reasons (ones I can’t imagine as I’m still struggling with the why’s of that). It will be 2 years soon and nothing has changed. I’d say I’m worse and more depressed than ever. I took your advice and stuck with reading the Bible for answers as to does God really take people away from us, and the other disturbing issue of there being no marriage at the resurrection. I also again reached out to several Pastors etc. Here’s my question, how can I know what the truth is when I’m still getting so many different answers from others? Some tell me I’m interpreting the scriptures wrong, that the no marriage issue is only fir the Saints that will rule with Jesus. On the subject of God taking people away from us, I’m told I’m wrong and that God doesn’t do that, it is caused by sin that entered the world after the fall. I’m desperate to find the truth. There’s many more things I’ve been told but too much to list. Do you have any more advice on how I can handle all these different answers and how do I find out the truth? One person said God is love and he doesn’t take people away from us. This same person insists there will be marriage on the new earth. My head is spinning. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you Wayne. April.

    • I do remember you, April. I’m sorry it’s still such a difficult place for you. Be patient with yourself, as what you’ve experienced is not an easy thing. Our sole source of truth has to be the Bible; if we develop views from our feelings or desires alone, we’ll live in a continual fog because those things change. Whenever someone tells you something, you could respond with: “Oh, that’s interesting. Where does the Bible say that?” You’ll find that many people base their ideas of God from their own thoughts, rather than the Word of God. For example, yes, God is love– but love doesn’t mean God has no justice, discipline, or condemnation of unbelievers. God’s love sent Jesus to the cross (John 3:16).

      I don’t know if I suggested it before, but you probably should walk through this season of struggle with a Godly Christian counselor. You can find a counselor here. Don’t give up, April. Keep seeking the Lord in the Bible. That’s where you’ll find your answers.

  • Elisee Normil

    I learn that God is doing it for our own good. He takes it away for us to learn and grow and trust in him more. Its a lesson from God.

    • That is a fabulous and incredibly mature perspective, Elisee. Some people go their whole lives and never put that together. Thanks for sharing.

      • Daniel M.

        I consider myself a christian till recentley. Luckly, i have now realized i was worshiping the wrong God

        • Actually, Daniel, the Bible is full of individuals who struggle was what seems like God’s selective and discriminatory love. Just read several of the Psalms and you will see this written large (Psalm 13 and Psalm 73). The problem usually occurs because we only cherry pick the parts of the Bible we want to read and believe. If we look at the big picture, we see God’s love magnificently displayed in the giving of his Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. Of course, it isn’t easy for us to see the big picture like God sees it, and so we struggle against painful situations. That’s why the devil does all he can to cause doubt about God’s goodness and love. That was Satan’s temptation in the garden and he still doesn’t today. That’s why it’s so essential that we trust God’s character and his goodness. And it isn’t just a blind faith God asks of us. The death and resurrection of Jesus as a historical event proves God’s love for you, Daniel.

        • Daniel M.

          I would like to say sorry about my earlier comment. I am just at what i am going through and was harsh against believing he should havr been there for me during difficult times.

          I lost my only brother and i thought God was ignoring my cries. I am just lonley and sad.

          • That’s okay, Daniel. Losing your brother is hard. Mary and Martha also lost their only brother, and they were profoundly disappointed in the Lord as a result of it. But the lessons they learned are some you might also find encouraging.

  • Cricket

    I’m going through the worst time of my life and I don’t understand it. I’ve always, my entire life, been so grateful and given praise for everything. “Thank you, Jesus” is something that has always been said and honestly felt. I still thank Jesus for things I still have. In the past, I took what God had done for me in my life and used it to bring others to Him. I’ve given my last dime (literally) to someone I felt needed it more than me… I was homeless at the time. I feel I’m a good person. That’s why I don’t understand. How? Why? How could He take the best thing in my life from me? Why did He let me be so happy in the first place if He was just going to take it from me? I’ve been fighting for my life for almost a year. It’s been horrible. I’ve prayed “God, just take me home, please. I’m so tired.” I’ve prayed “God help me, please!!!” I’ve begged, bargained, sobbed, found hope, lost hope again, I’ve done everything I can think of to get back what He took and try to understand. What is my lesson and when does it end?? I’ve suffered for so long!! And I know my suffering is small compared to what Jesus went through, but when is enough enough? He knows I’m trying to stay alive. He knows my boots are heavy, but I keep walking. I keep trying. I’m so tired.

    • I’m sorry to read your words, Cricket. You’re very articulate and a gifted writer. Of course, there are no easy answers. When we pray for God to bring relief, or change, or a certain result from a challenging situation, we have to remember that what we’re asking God to do—even though it may be completely within the bounds of Scripture—comes from a limited perspective. We look at the situation and evaluate it in such a way as to think: Lord, bring about this result in my character. Help me be more loving, patient, self-controlled, etc. Obviously, God wants us to be these things, but he may have another result in mind altogether. He sees the blind spots in our character—those areas we don’t even know to pray for. So, he shapes the situation to unearth the defects buried deeply beneath layers of immature jealousies, lusts, and longings for relief.

      Sometimes God’s greatest acts of love come in saying no to our requests because he wants to give us much, much more than answers to third grade questions. He wants to grow us up to be like his Son—and the Father will never stop this relentless pursuit in our lives (Rom. 8:29; Phil. 1:6).

      Perhaps you already have a church home, but the burden you’re bearing is why the body of Christ exists. Brothers and sisters in the family of God offer great comfort in moments of great struggle. I’m going through a similar time right now, and it’s really hard. Others help a lot. If you need to find a church home, you can begin looking here. Never give up, Cricket. Ever. Cling to truth above what you feel.

  • Yolanda

    God’s fake !! Don’t trust him, he will let you down every time !!!

    • You’re not alone in your anger with God, Yolanda. At the same time, many have found that anger stems from an unexpected place. Personally, I’ve struggled against believing lies about the Christian life
      and the Bible– stuff the Word never teaches. Ultimately, I’ve found
      that when I thought God has let me down, instead it was my false
      expectations that had disappointed me.

  • Gregory Moonsamy

    I waited on God many years and I’m still waiting on God I wonder what’s his angle or game plan I saw him bless others it’s like life has moved forward but I’m still standing in same place

    • I’ve been there too, Gregory. In fact, the season I’m walking through right now is very tough. You may find some comfort in truths that are just as true as the challenges that face you. My new book, Waiting on God, gives what I’ve discovered. It has really helped. Thanks.

    • Jolene Cleverly

      Same here. Everyone was blessed and I am not. They have their needs met and I don’t. I don’t understand why . Can’t believe that God won’t supply for my needs?

  • Jeff Hildebrand

    I don’t ask for anything anymore and just float through life because God has no interest in my desires or my wants so why bother getting all upset. You shouldn’t try to get what you want because then it’s pegged as an idol. You would really do well to stay in your home and pray and read the Bible until you have to work and repeat. The so called abundant life must be a mistranslated verse….look at all the abuse the apostles endured. If you have children don’t give them anything they want that way when they are adults and (maybe become Christians) they can get used to be denied.

  • Peter

    I’ve read a few of these comments and replies. They are all the same. At this point in my life it’s like blah blah blah. There’s no figuring out what God does or why. At least not for me. He’s cruel and he don’t stop. He may be good to everyone else. But not me. Illnstop here because you asked to keep it kind.

    • I’m sorry there are no easy answers, Peter. I hope one day you’re able to see God’s kindness long with the hardships He allows. I admit, it’s tough at times.

  • James

    God knows Wat is good & bad for us… He does coz he knows wats gud for us but being a human we choose to complaints something.. It’s just like we Complaint to our parents whenever we are into either wrong or right…! And remember…. God is love…!

    But in serious situations, can we really take God name( like promise my God) to save Or escape our true loves.. Whom we ever love…..! I’m confused bcoz in Bible we hear tat we cannot take God name in vain.. But agn God is love..!
    Can anyone help me with this confusion.. Thanks….

    • James, I’d love to respond and answer your question, but honestly, I’m not sure what you’re asking. Mind trying again?

  • Akshay Singh

    Can i ask. Question?


    It was a normal day. I walked into work and I got fired from my good paying job. Then God took away my health. I am still trying to learn why but I think he is trying to teach me not to follow money or status. I skipped church, put work before God, i was bullied and myserable at work.
    After 9 months i am still jobless. Been rejected so many times. But tonight it got me thinking, how did i get that job in the first place. A recruiter saw my old CV on a job search engine and randomly gave me a call. This was when i was again jobless after uni. So random. I didnt even have experience in that profession. I attended church prayer meeting for people looking for a job, i felt God saying to me, 1 more, just one more try. That evenimg i got a call from the recruiter again asking if i was interested in a position. I was not sure but God said 1 more so i said yes. Everything after flew by soo fast… interview with recruiter, interview with company and next day i was hired.
    I was angry at God too like most people who commented because i worked soo hard for that job but we should think like Job. We came with nothing and we will leave with nothing. I am only existing because of God in the first place. Everyday living and every second breathing is a blessing. God has taken away for me to draw closer to him. I have tried my best and all the different ways to get a job but failed. God also reminded me of the time when Jesus calmed the sea. Disciples were panicking and doing what they can humanly do but it was no use, then jesus said be calm and the sea was calm. I was panicking and not trusting in God all this time but i made a decision tonight that i will trust in God and stay calm and wait for the Lord to overcome what i cannot. I fell again but our Lord is loving and he accepts me once again. Please forgive me lord that i have put work, money, status before your ways. I will wait patiently with hope as I await for another miracle. Amen.

    • As I read through your comment, Viki, I said to myself: “Yep, me too. Oh yeah, that happened to me . . . Etc.” Amazing how gracious God can be in spite of all He allows—and even through it. Thanks for keeping the big picture in mind and for allowing what you’ve learned in the past help shape your present reality. God bless.

  • German Pagan III

    I don’t understand why God allowed my marriage to fail when I gave it my all. I felt betrayed and right now am in a state of heartache which I ask him to deliver me from but it’s been months. I ask him to repair my relationship to my ex wife even tho she moved on I still am waiting on him because he said he will give me everything my heart desires and I’m believing that. But for right now I am a mess.

    • I’m so sorry to read this. I can’t imagine the challenge you’re facing right now. You may have done all you could, but God also allowed your wife to make decisions, and your decisions don’t necessarily negate hers. God “giving you the desires of your heart” refers to giving you Himself—since that is what the Proverb says: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Prov 37:4). Sometimes God allows us to go to unwanted places to give us what we could never receive anywhere else—Himself. This time is a time for you to draw near to Him, even though all else is confusing. It’s also a time to draw near godly friends who can encourage you in God. Don’t stay alone or you’ll stay discouraged.

  • Rene Charles

    God has taken everything and I do mean everything from me. From happiness go right back…..everyday is just waiting to see what evil will come my way……wish he kill me quick ……

    • You’re not alone, Rene, in your struggle and despair. Even Moses, Jonah, and Elijah faced situations in which they asked God to take their life (1 Kings 19:4). But they also came to see that God’s plan for them was bigger than they could see. Just this morning I read a verse that reminded me God’s goals are often long-term. Trust that your present trials will bring about “good for you in the end” (Deut. 8:16).

  • Brenda Hanson

    Am lost… right now am really struggling with my faith,i know Jesus is real, i know hes’ a loving God but when it comes to me,i feel like i have done or said something that causes me to endure more pain than necessary,i come from an abusive child hood ,so i left at 15 to never return i believe if i just disappear life would be better and not bother or ask God for nothing but the basics ,if am not around people i can’t hurt them and they cant hurt me,the one person i believed in who tried to help me as a child when i was going through was my grand pop,and the min he was able to get me out he died that same month and there i was to defend myself again,at 15 i was praying then the abuse only got worse ,i know i made some bad choices and i have to answer for them fine they are considered consequence from my own doing. i was raised alone even tho i had a brother…. i was not allowed to know him …we met once, in passing to never see see each other again.but i guess i can be grateful…. god did connect me to talk with him before he died 2014 three months after my father…. funny part is God allowed them the right to say good bye not the right to love me or know me….. have trust issues , i know God didn’t abuse me ,he gives us all choices and we never stop think about the consequence that why i made the statement about fifteen.. married late but you know life is funny after nine years together my husband was giving his life to god…. so now am thinking….now i have someone for me…. he died a month ago dumb me.

    • When someone has experienced as many disappointments as you have, Brenda, it’s easy to slip into cynicism, despair, and even anger at God. Believe me, I understand. Though many verses and biblical examples come to mind, I think the best counsel I can offer is to urge you to get involved in a good church (find one near you by clicking here) that teaches the Bible and ask to be mentored by a godly woman. You need someone to walk with you through this season of life and to offer you a perspective that’s bigger than the disappointments that cloud your view of how much God wants for you. Don’t give up.

    • Sirisetri Raju King

      Don’t worry about anything sister…
      God knows each and everything..
      He knows giving more than our father.. He is a good Shepherd ..
      He is a king of king.. The Lord of Lord..no one like him..savior,
      Healer,and greater. He did water turned in to wine..he is miracle god…he is a comforter in our life
      So, now what iam saying to you sister.. Once you have to remind about job he was lost everything, but he cannot lose his faith….
      Dear sister what he told know…
      Jehovah given to me Jehovah taken.. We should tell like him always then only our faith will increase… Other wise we cannot alive in the earth.. It’s true..
      Please check once about Our believers in the holy Bible.. Please don’t lose your faith…
      Please read the holy Bible as much as possible..without god we cannot take breath..and we cannot alive..

      Regarding your,
      One of the brother.

  • It’s never easy to understand the Lord’s will, and because He sometimes allows hard things to occur (often becuase of our own decisions), it’s easy to doubt God’s goodness. Although what seems your greatest need is to have your son’s situation resolved, an even greater need is for you personally to believe in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. God sent His Son to die in your place, to take the punishment that was yours, and then He rose again to show that your sins were paid.

  • Jolene Cleverly

    I give up and quit trying. What’s the point if I can’t have my needs met? I have lost everything not sure why. Tired of all of the failures and losses.

  • AndThisIsWhyUsGoodMenAreSingle

    It is very bad enough for a good single man like me that really wanted a good wife and family that i never had which i really do blame God for this one since i will admit that i really hate to be single today when i really should’ve never been at all in the first place. But then again since the women of today are nothing at all like the past which really adds to the problem as well since most of the women nowadays are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, and very money hungry which certainly tells the whole story right there as well since i really have no reason at all to blame myself either. I really shouldn’t blame God at all in a way since the women of today have really changed for the worst of all unfortunately that have certainly caused this mess anyway. And i do know other friends that are going through the very same thing right now as well since they really do agree with me one hundred percent how very pathetic women have become these days. It has become so very dangerous for many of us good innocent men to try too start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet and then to have her Curse at us for no reason at all which even God will never be able to have control over a woman’s behavior problems today since most of these women are complete Psycho’s now unfortunately. Quite a complete change in the women of today compared to the good old days when most of the women back then were the very best of all and were totally the very complete opposite of what these women are today. Well this certainly explains why many of us men are still single today doesn’t it? And most of the women back then certainly did put these women today to real total shame altogether now since it really does take two too tango since it is very unfortunate that many of us men just happened to be born at such a bad time today since many of us definitely would’ve been settled down by now ourselves too. Peace.

    • It may be a blessing that good, single men like you have not found the ideal, godly woman of yesteryear whom you write about. In truth, she never existed. But if she did, she likely would have some standards of her own about what makes a good man. Christlike qualities such as humility, owning one’s own contribution to discontent, lack of a critical spirit, unconditional love, and a trust in a sovereign God who gives what is best in His time. Honestly, with the mindset you’ve expressed above, I think you’re in the best place to remain a single man.

      • AndThisIsWhyUsGoodMenAreSingle

        As you can see how very right with my last comment that i have made. It is very unfortunate that we live in a very completely different time now since the women of today have really changed for the worst of all. And most women now really want a man that makes a lot of money or is very rich altogether since it is always about them nowadays. God forbid if a woman goes with a man that makes much less money then they do which as you can see that it is very unheard of these days. Years ago our family members were very extremely blessed to be born at such a much better time when real true love did come so very easy for them as you can see. And what made it very easy for our family members at that time was that most of the women back then hardly had any money at all since both men and women in those days were struggling just to make ends meat so they really had no conveniences like they have today since it is really the women that have become so very greedy and selfish now more then ever unfortunately. Most of us men really don’t care how much money a woman makes these days but they really do which makes these women so very sad altogether now since they have really caused many of us men with our singleness now since we really have no reason at all to blame ourselves either. And this is why many of us very good men will most likely remain single since there will never be a good woman out there now to accept us men for who we really are today. Well thank you very much for your support. Peace.

  • Jacob619

    Not a fan of this literature

  • Ariel Nixon

    So… I’ve learned a lot about sacrifice in order to fulfill His will. Sacrifice is painful. It’s never really voluntary, and it is unexpected. God desires glory, and will do anything and everything in His power to obtain that. Even it if means creating objects for destruction, hardening hearts, or taking away gifts and blessings. In the end, He is the one that is lifted high and who is highlighted as the rest of us lie in darkness and waste from the pain He unleashed on us. It is hard to swallow, and maybe impossible to swallow, but we must remember that God is both a Destroyer and Creator…Alpha and Omega, author and finisher of our faith. He creates infinitely, and watches His creations get old, and throws them away. He will do the same with this Earth and heaven and will make new ones with new “people” to use for His will. Yet, God is also a restorer, a healer, and is the only one with the power to resurrect the dead and give back life to the lifeless.

    If anyone is reading this, a word of encouragement: Find what gives you strength. If that is your loved ones, then spend time with them. If it’s a hobby, then do it. Do whatever will give you love and remind you of the love that God has shared with you. All of those who have commented: God loves you. He does…and yet we do not fully understand what love is as He is love. You are His child, He will not forever forsake you. Please understand and know this…it has taken me a long time. He forsook His son, Christ Jesus, who was sacrificed so that we may have life. But He was resurrected. We also undergo suffering and pain for the sake of His glory, but we too will be restored. Maybe not in this life, but the next. Please think of those who He has not chosen as His children…the ones whose hearts He hardened, who He cut off from Himself, who He declared as enemies. Those are the ones who are suffering the most. Let us remember their sacrifice and do whatever God allows us to show love to those around us while we have the time.

    • Your insights are magnificent, Ariel, and it’s no doubt taken years for you to arrive at such a mature place in your walk with God. Thank you for sharing what we all need to hear.

  • Elena

    God took away my dear husband. It very paintful my faith was shaken but in the end I know the silver lining will appear for His love for me is eternal. I am lonely but joyful that my husband is in the better place now.

    • I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you, Elena, to lose your husband. How marvelous that God has given you such a beautiful perspective and life of faith with Him. What a blessing.

  • Dave Wood

    The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose. – Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

    • That’s a great quote, Dave— and so true. It takes us years to come to the realization of it, doesn’t it?

    • disqus_znTohz52QD

      Did you really read that “Purpose Driven Life” poisoned book? Rick Warren deception consists on a very beautiful, attractive, and 99% correct evangel made to attract people into a vile entertainment “church” polluted by pop / electric / sensual / demonic rock music where people only look for sensuality!

  • Tim Driggers

    Take your sorcery out of here, lady. This site deals with God, not the occult!

  • Deborrah

    I completely understand what it means when he does things of this nature. He does it because he feels we haven’t used the blessing to help others. He gives us things to be servants to him and to others in need. Everything is his anyway. Material things are temporal, but to be saved and knowing you are a child of his and you have helped others with the gifts he had given you are Everlasting! Thanks, Deborrah Anne Williams.

    • Thank you, Deborrah. The greatest gift God has given us is salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ. As the apostle Peter said, “There is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)

  • Ann

    I Married an abusive relationship physically and mentally my high-school sweetheart come back and I was working towards things to be with him but things were going slow and he’s found someone else I don’t know if it’s right to pray that God put a wall between him and her is my high-school sweetheart my first love First everything and he’s came back out of nowhere can I pray for a wall to be tween them and to split them apart is that what one should do or can do I feel like just taking my own life and being done with everything here

    • Ann, during this season of struggle, I urge you to read the book of John and the Psalms in the Bible. They will offer you hope and comfort. Also, find a good church and get involved with others who can encourage you. Don’t lose hope; this season is for you to draw near to God.

  • Mike A Curtin

    GOD gives life and then takes it back…sometimes that really feels unnatural…it certainly feels like there’s not much compsssion.maybe ,God’s actions toward ppl, just aren’t what we have been taught to expect.

    • You’re right, Mike. It does feel unusual—and even cruel at times. That’s why God’s Word is such an essential part of our spiritual lives; it offers truth to combat the feelings that seem so overwhelming. Here are some promises from God’s Word to offer assurance in those moments of doubt.

  • Dawn Suchomel

    God took my son he was my last of 7 kids he was so kind hearted everyone loved him I miss him so much don’t understand y did God hurt me so much wat did I do to deserve this

    • I can’t imagine the pain, confusion, and anger you’re feeling, Dawn. What a terrible, terrible loss; I’m so sorry. It’s beyond our ability to understand how or why a good God allows such terrible evil. But even in our confusion, we can understand that God went through the same pain— when gave His one and only Son, Jesus, to die for our sins on the cross. Jesus rose again to live forever, and through faith in Him— we can have hope that we —and our loved ones— will do the same.

  • Dawn Suchomel

    N IAM so mad n hate him for taking away my soul my heart my little boy

  • Dean Dodds

    Here’s proof, this morning I was checking a book I am writing, I was working on it when something went wrong and half of what I’d wrote disappeared, I immediately knew beyond any doubt that I had been smited. Now I’ve been a life long sufferer of mental problems and recently I begged ‘the lord’ to intervene, I was praying pleading and crying for help, then out of nowhere I beat my prescripted meds, I’m no longer as ill as I was, I’m being nicer, I’m getting things blessings daily and then only the past couple of days have I forgotten to pray, I know this is why I lost this important piece of work to me, because I couldn’t even thank him for my blessings this week, when it happened this morning , I immediately checked the clock noticed the time ran down stairs and got bread and water for sacrament, I’m a Mormon and I speak the truth here today. The lord does giveth but he can surely taketh away, if he blesses you be aware, but also be greatfull pray and keep your faith in him, I am not angry he took this body of work from me, I am blessed that he can do that and leave me with an inner knowing of what just happened, and why. amen

  • Massiel Acosta Marchena

    I have admit I m done with all ….I have been fighting for 2 years now…he removed my fiance, he removed my job, I did not get the scholarship I was applying to, my business got stuck, I have to reject the only person that truly wanted me cuz he was not a christian and it was going to be an unequally Yoked relationship I wanted to be obodient so I et him go and I was expecting something good out of it and guess what my trip to visit my bff to her wedding was cancelled cuz the visa to get there I got denied ….and I have been in 12 countries before….like why?….ppl around me are even doubting of God as well cuz they can not understand how I work so hard and trust God no matter what and yet nothing good seems to happen everything always falls apart despite my effort and my consistancy.I stood in my bible class even tho I didnt have time to sleep cuz I had a lot to do. I wonder is this worthy? I mean I see ppl who do not even believe in God or they say they do but they do not go deeper and they dream jobs , great relationships, I m tired …what is the reason what is that he is protecting me from cuz it is only causing me pain and confusion. There are moments when I am like I m done.

    • It’s never easy to see past the hard places at the blessings God has given us, Massiel. When so many of our hopes are placed in this life alone, it can seem flimsy and weak to have joy in the life to come. You’re not alone in your struggle. Many of us who love Jesus Christ also question why in the world he allows what he does—and why so many of the things we desire, we don’t get. One time when Jesus said something people didn’t like, many of his followers chose to walk away (John 6:66). Jesus asked his 12 disciples, “You don’t want to go away too, do you?” Peter’s answer is one we should also answer in moments like these: “Where else could we go? You have the words of eternal life.” You might find some encouragement in two recent posts I wrote about dealing with despair and about how to keep going when you can’t keep going. Don’t give up, Massiel. God has not abandoned you, in spite of how you may feel. Jesus’ death on the cross for you proves that God loves you and offers you a future with him.

    • chuck gentile

      I gave and gave it meant NOTHING at all why .why hurt good people .good hearts .i don’t care any more there’s a part of me that wants to go back to my old ways .i hate this world hate it I didn’t ask for this Iam tired of being hurt .

    • I Specialize in RESULTS!

      I have experienced similar things. At one point, my life was great, then everything started falling apart. It has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem and I also have wondered what is the purpose. At first, I thought it was a test Then, another test, and another, and another test, etc. If so, I am about on test 350+, with no end in sight. . .And, it is exhausting. I have passed some and I have failed others, miserably. I have been criticized, talked about, lied on, cheated, judged and it has literally broken me down to a shell of the person I once was. I have lost my faith in humanity. And, think ‘not much’ of some people I used to think the world of. I have learned the hard way that when you are riding high, many will cheer you on and ride your coattails, but when you are down, few want to help pick you up, or even to lend an ear to your problems. I pray that I don’t get bitter. I have to believe that apparently God isn’t finished with us. I have heard God can’t use perfect people. So maybe, just maybe, we are being polished by these rough times so He can hone our empathetic skills, and we can more easily relate to others from all walks of life. I know I am more compassionate, and less judgmental, than I used to be. When God delivers me from this, I will never forget how disempowered, and hopeless, it feels to be in the valley and will always try my best to help others. Perhaps, when God feels we are ready, He will bring us out with His light shining through us, so we can make an incredible impact on the world! I have to believe that is the case. I have been told that if you are chosen of God, you will be persecuted. You are a threat to the enemy and he wants nothing more than to kill, steal and/or destroy you. The bigger the threat, the bigger the attack. So, let’s trust God and believe that he wouldn’t bring us to these challenges, if he couldn’t bring us through it. I hope this encourages someone today.

    • Stormy

      Massiel, even though I’m male, I’ve experienced many of the same experiences as you have and it had left me in a crumbled heap of destruction feeling dismayed, despondent, discouraged , exhausted, disoriented, abandon, insignificant, invisible to others and with very little hope left in God ! And at one time my life was very blessed by Him. I’ve made my own share of mistakes and screw ups but had truly repented, surrendered to God and gave my life to Him, but I think time has passed me by and God jus refuses to do anything to help me. I literally feel invisible to the rest of humanity and God is saying @get over it and accept that this my will for you.” Stormy

      • God has not abandoned you, Stormy, in spite of how you feel. The Psalms are filled with people asking God “Why have you forgotten me?” So clearly, the Lord understands such frustrations. Jesus’ death on the cross for you proves that God loves you and offers you a future with him.

  • Shaun

    It’s hard, but it’s true: sometimes God removes good things from our lives for our good. I have a question but why does god removes good things from our lives because my mother passed away she wasn’t very sick she had something wrong with her heart but it wasn’t as serious as we thought it was and there’s nothing wrong with her that day she was fine and her she went to sleep that night and never woke up again

    • Answering “why” is really hard when it comes to God’s power. The book of Job shows us a person who suffered and who had done nothing to deserve it. I can’t tell you why the Lord leads us to unwanted places, but I can affirm that He is sovereign and good– in spite of the evil He allows. The cross upon which His Son Jesus died is a great example. I wrote this post that may offer you some encouragement and perspective.

  • Eman

    The problem is – this method can be used by anyone..even human parents can do this to their child. Not to mention supernatural. Believing in God is one thing but to blindly accept everything as if it comes from God is another..

    • Eman

      So yea..if someone claims to be God they actually do need to proove that by doing something only God can do and noone else.

    • You’re right, Eman. People make bad choices that God wouldn’t approve of. At the same time, God’s sovereignty is in no way limited by people’s poor decisions. Instead, in a way we cannot fathom, God uses those decisions for His good purposes (see Genesis 50:20; Romans 8:28). Living with faith isn’t blindly accepting anything; it’s believing that what God says is true– even when it makes no sense to us. Thanks.

  • Smangele Cherity Pungose

    I’ve learned that you are on your own and people that you trusted they also disappear. I’ve learned that God will never take something from you without having a plan. I’ve learned that pray without ceasing and God will eventually hear our prayers.

    • Those are lessons hard-learned, Smangele. Even though people will often disappoint us and also forsake us (we do the same to ourselves), God never will. As the Lord said, “Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Thanks.

  • Kendra Edgerton

    I lost my car which led me to loose my job.I just got both…
    I feel hard,but I know I have to prove to God I am on Gods time…I keep crying..
    My ex is a narcissist and I got sucked back in during this rough time.He has formed a smear campaign against me and I have only 2 people I talk to other than God..
    All I can do is pray and know that God has me and Im going to be ok..

    • Part of what I will pray for you, Kendra, is for the Lord to bring a godly woman into your life as a mentor you can trust. You might consider reading the book of John from the Bible for comfort. God bless you as you trust in Him.

  • Tammie

    I had been praying to God to restore my marriage and to return his prodigal son back to Him and our marriage for about a year. At first all I wanted was a divorce, but I prayed to God and asked Him what did He want me to do. I received several messages from God, or at least I thought they were. I would turn on the TV, radio and from coworkers, who didn’t even know my situation, telling me to keep the Faith, trust in God and don’t give up. He will bless you with what you are praying for. I did that, asking Him to change my husband’s heart. My husband eventually came back home. He only stayed for a month and left again. I went to God and asked Him why would you allow him to come back only to take it right back. I feel lost and confused. I’m tired of trying and trying only to be hurt and ignored. I am at the end of my rope and I have no idea what to do. I’m by myself in this marriage, I can barely walk, behind on my mortage, my finances are not right, having issues on my job and I keep calling on God to save and help me, but all i see around me is darkness.

    • I’m sorry, Tammie, it’s still such a difficult place for you. It would help if you walk through this season of struggle with a godly Christian counselor. You can find a counselor here . Keep seeking the Lord in the Bible. That’s where you’ll find your answers. There is hope– even though now it seems as if God has ignored your cries and He has said no to your prayers.

  • lizzie Warrior

    I love you, and I’m sorry for the heartaches you feel right now. But don’t let the sorrows and the weight of this world take you off your game(Gods game that is). I felt(feel)this way from time to time and then I am so thankful that He helps me to remember it could have been very different. I could have been born with many abnormalities,or to a family that was very deep in poverty I mean the list goes on and on. You know somewhere someone is dealing with that. Or dealing with no food or clean water, not knowing anything or having money… I know we can look at others lives and see how sin looks like its winning; but doesn’t God tell us to look for these signs. No (We who choose to love and follow God and His Son) don’t have it easy, but never once did I read where it said we would. Heck expect it like you expect your bills that come around every month. Dont hate God for chastising us: for God chatises those whom He loves; (helps build up His good soldiers). I know some hardships last for years, think about the woman with the issue of blood.Chains and boulders that have been placed upon your shoulders (by satan) are getting so unbearable that you are for sure God is punishing you. See people say that they love and follow God, but still carry on they way they do;(Im guilty of this too) but you know there are couple of verses about that.You know people having God in their mouths but not there hearts. Everything in this world is designed to turn us away from God, if you look back carefully the word of the Lord and politics have been around since forever. Like “people” want to make that go hand in hand, which it does;but now”people” are taking God out of everything and thats why everything is failing. Dont take God out of your equation;if you think your failing now….. choose differently. Complaining only interrupts His plans and doings, He does not delight in seeing us suffer; but that is something that we all must endure. If Jesus went through it here, what makes us think we shouldn’t? If we fall its cause we were weak and allowed it, He always gives us a way out of temptation. To God be the glory!

  • Tracy

    Thanks Priest Aluta for restoring my broken marriage. Your Ways are higher and your plans for our lives outweigh any fear and doubt our earthly minds can conjure up. My husband is home after several years of separation and wavering and wandering through his wilderness. I can say with my heart that Priest Aluta is the one who brought all this to pass with his spell. Last Saturday, while going on search for help i came across his website page (http://tinyurl.com/y7auhzo5) on how to win your ex back and restore your homes and repair what the enemy has destroyed, I looked over and my husband was staring at me with such love and remorse. He told me he loved me and that he’s never in his life been happier than he is right now. If you would have asked me a year ago if I could foresee this miracle I would have said ‘No Way!’ I thank you Priest Aluta A.KA. Papa Zeddy for your great work. I still having grace on me even when I doubted you. Don’t give up standers! Your suddenly is coming…. BEHOLD I DO A NEW THING.Contact Him today for relationship issues http://tinyurl.com/y7auhzo5

  • Tracy Kopta

    Don’t give up!!!!! God is in the blessing business! !!!!!! Vegas csn definitely attack ones mind …..ones spirit! I know! I live here! I fight hard in Jesus to keep those woes away!
    Hold tight…keep praying. Read the bible and watch The Lord Jesus work!